Q: I have been hanging out with a guy since August of 08. We dated from January 09-November of 09. I live at home and go to school, while he lives 3 hours away at school. We have been talking about getting back together since we broke up. While he was home over break we hung out every day. The day he went back to school he cried saying goodbye to me. Now that he is at school we don’t talk as much. He is going on a date this Friday night. I’m going to his school Saturday night. Him seeing other people really bothers me. I really want us to get back together, am I better off trying to work things out with him, or completely ending things?
– Kathy

A: I know this may be hard to hear, but it just sounds to me like you’re just the girl he dates when he’s home from school. All the “talks” of getting back together are simply to keep you wanting him while he’s gone, so he can slip back into your life at his convenience. The fact that he is dating someone else (after he cried in front of you) proves that he has moved on and doesn’t want a committed relationship with you. To answer your question, I highly recommend that you completely end things with him, because pursuing a guy would lead to more heartache. But know that when you do start to ignore him, he may start calling you again. However, it won’t be for what you’re you want, it will just be to sweet talk you long enough to get your attention to chase him again. Life is too short to settle in love, it’s just best to move on. 

Q: My thighs are weak and skinny and I would like to build them up.  If there is one exercise that you would recommend, which would it be? - Michelle T. / Cleveland, OH.

A: Dear Michelle,

The best overall exercise to build and strengthen the legs are Lunges.  Lunges target the quadriceps (front of the thigh), hamstrings (back of the thigh) and a bonus, the buttocks.

To execute a basic lunge, stand with the feet together.  Next, step the right foot forward about 2-3 feet.  Bend the right knee, while slowly bending the left knee about 2 inches from the floor.  Take note that your right knee does not roll over the toe.   Push through the right heel to return to the starting position.  Do 8-12 reps on the right leg then switch bringing the left foot forward.  You can use dumbbells for added resistance once you’ve got the hang of the exercise.  Your legs will not only be stronger, but they will look great too!

Q: Will I ever stop wondering what my life would have been like if my first husband didn't die?  I'm remarried and have three beautiful children - but sometimes I just wonder.  - Josephine

A:  If you are involved in frequent thoughts of "what if," if you are obsessing about what path your life would have taken had your first husband not died, it could be a signal that some aspect of your current circumstances (relationships, career path, lifestyle.....) is in need of addressing.  If you find yourself simply wondering about the "what ifs" once in awhile, you may be using the thoughts to put some current experience in perspective by countering something negative with something positive.  You may then also find yourself  taking note of how awful it would be to have missed some joyous experience your children and husband currently provide.  Obsessing needs addressing;  wondering can be a healthy psychological balancer.

The grieving process , when a dealth is at a young age, often involves thoughts not just about the loss of the person but also about the loss of life expectations.  You may never stop wondering - just be sure to use those thoughts for the balance they can offer.  I hope your memories are happy.  I hope you can enjoy sharing those memories with the people you love.

Q: Being a mom, how do I find the time for me?  I want to work out 3 times a week but something always comes up.

A: In order to find time for you, it's imperative that you schedule it into your week.  Just as you put your children's activities on the calendar, your work-out sessions should be there too.  Consider them non-negotiable.  If you need to hire a babysitter, do so.  Perhaps you can enlist the help of a high school student in the afternoons, or join a gym that offers babysitting services.  Another strategy is to pair your kids' activities with your workout time.  If you drop your children at dance class or soccer practice, rather than driving back and forth, dress for exercise and go for a power walk while they are busy.  Don't be afraid to ask your spouse for help.  Have Dad watch the kids on weekend mornings so you can workout or head to the gym.  When he sees how much happier and healthier you are, he'll be glad to lend a hand.  One more suggestion; consider including your kids in your workouts.  Plan a family trip to the ice or roller skating rink.  If the kids are old enough, consider taking a kick-boxing or jazzercise class together.  The key is to be creative in your ideas, and then plan and schedule them.

Q: Where can I find skirts that flatter a curvy figure?

A: Most plus size retailers that I have worked with offer a selection of dresses as opposed to skirts. Reason being, depending on body type, a skirt can visually divide a woman’s body in the incorrect place and cause an unflattering proportion.

Curvier women are encouraged to opt for a high waist or belted dress that cinches the waistline. Opt for an all over pattern or a solid when considering design. Depending on age group, Avenue Women’s Fashions offers a practical and stylish selection.