Let's have a Laugh..

Who doesn't enjoy a giggle here and there? Laughing is the best medicine. Check out our reader-submitted jokes.  Feel free to send in jokes that make you laugh. Share that laughter with the rest of us! After all, laughter is contagious...

MY PRIVATE PART DIED

An old man, Mr.
Wallace, was living in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very
sad and depressed...  

Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything
wrong,

'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.

'My Private Part
died today, and I am very sad.'

Knowing her patients were a little
forgetful and sometimes a little crazy,

she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry,

Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.'

The following day, Mr.
Wallace was walking down the hall with his

Private Part hanging out of
his pajamas. He met Nurse Tracy.

'Mr. Wallace,' she said, 'You shouldn't
be walking down the hall like that.

Please put your Private Part back
inside your pajamas.'

'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace..

'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.

'Yes,' said
Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that,

but why is it hanging out of your
pajamas?'

(You've gotta
love this ....)

 'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'

Which floor?

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to  the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the  building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Diet?

I'm on the Seafood Diet...

I See food and EAT it!

Men Jokes

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One ... men will screw anything.

What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A half hour of begging.

Pregnant Blonde

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, 'what the heck', and I starting jumping up and down along with her.

She said, 'I have some really great news....

I said, 'Great. Tell me why you're so happy.'

She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant. I knew she'd been trying for a while so I told her, 'That's great I couldn't be happier for you!'

Then she said, 'There's more'
I asked, What do you mean there's more.

She said, 'Well, we are not having just one baby.
We are going to have TWINS!'

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she k new.
She said....

(You're going to love this!...)