Unwind with a Laugh: Pick Up Lines

This issue we asked you what was the best and most humorous pick up line that came your way.   I must say, pretty freaking amusing ladies! So glad you shared and hopefully I won’t be the only one that laughs! Enjoy this break in your day! 🙂

1. I went to a Hawaiian party with a girlfriend in 1985. A young good-looking guy walked up to me, looked me up and down and said, “A 9. Yeah-definitely a 9. You’d be a 10, but you’re missing one thing…ME!” 

Yeah, I laughed. I also had a boyfriend at the time, so dating him wasn’t an option. But this pick-up line is the one line that I’ve never forgotten and it’s been 25 years. – Jennifer

2. “You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all night.” I laughed! It was during college, and his name was Darrin. We became really good friends– Never dated, though. I ended up using the line throughout a play that I wrote– And I cast him in the role that said the line! – Candice

3. I met a man in 1994 when I was at Sydney’s, a restaurant/music club in Rehoboth Beach DE, whose pickup line made me laugh: I was with a group of girlfriends, sitting at the bar watching a three-piece acoustic blues band called The Blue Rider Trio. The harmonica player, Hugh Feeley, was spectacular, just an amazing musician, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. At the break, he walked right up to me and said: “I saw you come in, and I’ve been watching you sitting there, and you can kiss me*.” I laughed out loud, we talked, I got his number, and we’re married now. *To this day he denies saying “you can kiss me”, but I have witnesses 🙂 And yes, I kissed him 😀 – Pattie

4. My name is Deidre Drewes, I am 22 years old and I live in Kingston, NY. One night when I was at the bar, an older gentleman sitting next to me turned his head to me, stared for a second, then blurted out: “You look like the reason I went through puberty.” I didn’t know whether to laugh hysterically or be completely mortified, but it was definitely one of the most original lines I have ever heard. – Deidre

5. The pickup line that stands out for me after all these years was when a guy came over to me in what they used to call a “disco,” and said, “I wore diapers when I was a baby.” I laughed and said, “Me too” and he said, “Wow, we have a lot in common!” – Cindy

6. “Your eyes are so blue like the ocean, I think I can see dolphins swimming in them.” 

Never heard that one before, but it made me laugh. I don’t think that was the response he was looking for though… – Debbie

7. “Here’s $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.”

Laughed, took the ten, bought myself a couple of drinks…but he didnt get any better looking for that was that 😉 – Karen

8. I was sitting at a bar waiting for a client and a man walked over and handed me a sugar packet. I raised my eyebrow and he said “I think you dropped your name tag.” I busted out laughing! That was so cute that I struck up a ten minute conversation with him! – Crystal

9. Funny I came across this today.I was on a NYC bus yesterday and noticed a very well dressed gentleman reading the paper. He glanced over a few times and then he said, “you have very nice looking feet.” I responded with a chuckle and remarked, I’m a little embarrassed but thank you!” I honestly didn’t know how to respond after that.I got off at my stop and that was it. I think if he has complimented any other feature I would have chatted him up 🙂 Gotta love NY!!- SR

10. A really cute guy and his friend were at a bar, standing out of the 
way from me and my friend. We had guys buying us all sorts of drinks. But all of a 
sudden,we received a slice of lime with the little plastic sword in it, on a 

The bartender said this is from the gentlemen across the room.
We turned around and saw the two guys gesturing with their hands “no 
big deal” “our pleasure” and “please enjoy” … acting like they just bought us 
a condo!

We laughed so hard, we thought it was creative and cute…and my 
friend ended up marrying one of them! -Ruta

11. Hi there, Let’s just say that the time I heard “do you want to come over to my place, I have… chocolate” I quickly declined. And laugh about it to this day, over 10 years later! – Marie-Christine

12. I was in a hotel in NYC & my phone was dead & needed to find a pay phone – i went to the bar & asked the bartender “if i were a phone where would i be” without missing a beat he said “you’d be next to my bed & you’d be a touch -tone..” I laughed & gave him my number – we became friends – he was a really nice guy – Kerri

13. I was texting someone on my iPhone at the bar.  A guy standing near me leaned in and, with no prior conversation – nothing but  creepy “Look how cool I am” smile, said – “Wanna Bump me?”  I looked at him with a dead-panned stare.  I knew what he meant, I just couldn’t believe he said it.  He asked again, “Wanna Bump me.”  I explained to him that I didn’t have Bump on my phone to avoid accidentally Bumping people while I was dancing. 

What I _wanted_ to say is “People like you are the reason I don’t have Bump.”  Who _says_ that?

(Bump is an iPhone app that if both people have iPhones and have the app, you can bump fists and transfer contact information.)   – Kindra

14. One of the worst pick up lines I’ve heard was this guy came up to my friend and I and asked, “How much do polar bears weigh?” I said I don’t know and he said, “Enough to break the ice!” I thought to myself, seriously???????? Maybe if the dude had a bit of charisma I would have laughed, but I just looked at him like the pathetic loser that he was and we walked away. One of the first pick up lines I can remember was when I was about 15 and I was working at an ice-cream shop and this kid said to me “Did it hurt?” I said What?? He said “When you fell down from heaven?” Course it made me giggle, as corny as it was it was sweet for a 15 year old boy. I’m pretty sure I gave him free ice-cream 🙂 -Nastassia

About the author

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Dava Krause

Dava Krause is a national touring stand-up comic, writer and actress with a recurring role on House, M.D on FOX. She also appeared on the spin-off In House appisode “Nurse Jeffery” featured on iTunes. Hugh Laurie said she had a “brilliant comedic face.” Her debut comedy rock album, “Child of the 80’s” is now available on over 300 websites including iTunes and Amazon and can be heard on XM Satellite’s Radio. In Los Angeles, Dava performs stand-up regularly at The Hollywood Improv, The Ice House and on Tom Arnold’s show “Laughing with the Stars” at The Laugh Factory. She also produces and hosts a monthly show in Hollywood featuring some of the top musical comics in the business called “Hotel Comedy.” Dava is a National Voice Over artist that can be heard in video games and radio and television commercials nationwide.

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