Not Accepting a Pity Party

Val McLeodBy Val McLeod

One day I decided to have a full blown pity party. It was in one of those moments when no matter how hard I tried, things just seemed to not go my way. I felt like I was channeling “Badluck Schleprock”. So a pity party seemed quite apropos.

If you are like me, there are those days when we need help holding it together.

In order to stay focused and fruitful during life’s rough spots, it is critical to build an infrastructure that will support you through the storms. Difficulty and disappointments are a part of life. The issue is how we respond to those tough times.

I have learned that my response to negative situations is the most determinate factor in the ultimate result. I learned that in order to regain my focus and redirect my footing I must have a better action plan than hosting a pity party.

I am a firm believer that even in the midst of misery we can have the confidence in knowing that no matter what – I will, you will, we will make it! The next time you have one of those “moments”, please consider employing these simple, but effective success principles.


First and foremost, no matter what you are experiencing, you must have an appreciation for the good you have in your life. Avoid the temptation to complain. Connecting to a sense of gratefulness causes you to gain access to a better vantage point. Be thankful and acknowledge the good in your life – it will attract more goodness.

By striving to be your best you are guaranteed to become a better, more appreciative person in the process.


There is a direct correlation between your level of success and the quality of your relationships. To have a successful and fulfilling life, internal confidence and interpersonal competence is essential. The best way to improve how you relate to and get along with others, is by enriching yourself.

Having the internal fortitude to honestly look at the ways that you can change your attitude, your approach and your actions is so empowering.

It is equally important to encircle yourself with people who bring positive energy. A hallmark of highly successful and powerful people is that they are very discerning about who is permitted access to them. There is intense protection around the president. You cannot just walk up to the Queen of England.

The Buckingham guards will take you down!

Likewise, we must limit the access and audience that we give to people who do not support our success. Refuse to allow negative words, opinions and attitudes to invade your peace or pervade your prosperity. Build associations that are mutually positive. Encircle yourself with people (and practices) that promote and propel you into your good future.


Words have creative power. Like the Divine Creator, we can speak into darkness and light will manifest. When you are in a dark moment because of life challenges, career changes or a health crisis, you can illuminate your atmosphere by declaring power-filled words.

Always know that what you say will have a great impact on the life you live. Your words are like a thermostat – they actually set your atmosphere. Listen to and echo the voice and vision that resonates your promised potential.

Agree – Align – Affirm!

Believe that no matter what is going on – it has the possibility to get better. Make declarations and proclaim your victory by making affirmations. Post notes around you that will give you that needed surge of strength in the middle of a stressful day. I cannot overemphasize the importance of activating your atmosphere with positive words.

For example, every day for more than 30 years, before I begin my day – I affirm and declare that my words and actions will enrich, encourage and empower everyone I encounter. While brushing my teeth in the morning, I say a motivating proclamation out loud…like…I am going to have my best day ever today!!! And I do!

Here are three of my favorite personal affirmations…… • I will have a heart! • I will believe the best about myself and others! • With all of my might, I will use my unique gifts, talents and strengths to inspire and empower!

Remember – our words create our reality!

About the author

Identity Magazine for Mompreneurs


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