Communicating Through Conflict

Identity Magazine for Mompreneurs
Written by TeamIdentity

All marriages have their ups and downs. But when there is conflict within a relationship, solving it can be difficult. Morgan Johns gives a little advice on how to communicate better within your spouse in order to resolve your problems easily. Try these tips next time you and your partner are trying to work through a tough situation, and hopefully you will be able to communicate through your conflict.

By Morgan Johns

The buzz word for saving a marriage now-a-days seems to be ‘communicate.’ It is as if it will automatically zip up all conflicts and resolve all hurts. It may seem a simple word but it can be quite difficult for one to practice.

Here are some pointers for a couple with marital problems to learn in order to fix their communication problems.

Your spouse is one of the closest people to you in your life; thus, it is your rightful duty, as per your marriage vows, to treat each other well. Each has to look out for the well-being of the other and give one’s spouse the best of oneself. But most of us tend to react the other way. We act more polite to strangers yet are rude and critical with our spouse. We tend to take our loved ones for granted. Before good communication can happen between the married couple, they must remember their status in each other’s lives and be given top priority at all times.

Communication Between Spouses

Communication is the process of conveying a message to another. The right words must be chosen, and once delivered, cannot be retracted. It is so important to choose your words carefully so that the correct message is conveyed without  inferences and guesswork.

Always sort out your words first before voicing to avoid misunderstanding and create conflict. This is especially necessary if your marriage is not too stable when you wish to communicate to resolve issues.

Make Sure the Moment is Right

Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes to feel how your words might impact him. Another point about communication is the timing. To have effective communication, it must be done at the right moment. Do not try to communicate when one party is busy or not alert in mind. Your spouse may be sleepy or tired; there will be no positive impact and you will end up being frustrated with the brick wall of communication.

Stay Calm, Cool, and Collected

Both parties should be calm and ready to deal with the issue at hand for a resolution. That will be the best time to communicate your feelings and thoughts without being accusing or defensive.

Avoid emotional outbursts, which tend to turn the spouse away or shut off his mind. This kills all forms of resolution to any disagreement or conflict in the marriage. Raising voices and yelling at each other tear down respect for one another, which causes more hurt and frustration.

Location, Location, Location  

Communication is conducive when the location is right. Crowded places or in front of your children will not do. The place should be comfortable and secure for both parties so that openness is encouraged. The bedroom is a good choice for privacy and a reflection of intimacy for good communication between the couple.

There are many ways to communicate effectively besides words; one can touch or embrace, give a smile or a kiss. These help to relax the other party and allow softer communication to take place, which is more productive. Choose nonverbal gestures of communication to promote respect, love and a desire to resolve marital conflict.

Morgan manages

About the author

Identity Magazine for Mompreneurs


Our mission is to empower women to "Get All A’s in their Game of Life" by discovering their powers and transforming through Self-Acceptance, Appreciation, and Personal Achievement—through all of our content and collaborations.