Life Transitions: Newly Hot Couple to Routine Boring Couple

In Life Transitions, Susan Toth will focus on the natural and not-so natural stages of our lives. Each issue will spotlight a particular transition, from graduating from college, getting married, having a baby, or helping your child get ready to leave the nest. Life Transitions will provide Identity readers with practical advice, tips and resources that she has learned over the years.

We all know what dating is all about. Saturday night is upon you, and you have a date with a great new guy. You take special care with your hair and make-up, and pick your best outfit out of your closet, or maybe from the rack of your favorite place to shop.

Once the date begins, you’re on your best behavior. You smile, flirt, make witty conversation and pay close attention to the person you’re with. Ideally, he does the same thing. Things go so well that the two of you agree to go out again. And again, and again, and again…until you and the hot new guy become a couple. Ahh, that’s when things begin to change.

Maybe date nights become sitting home curled up on the couch watching movies, or helping friends move, or shopping for a new refrigerator when the one in your apartment just died.

And maybe that great new outfit becomes sweats and a t-shirt. And the blown dry and flat ironed hair becomes a pony tail. And none of that, in and of itself, is bad. It mostly means that the two of you are comfortable with each other. And comfort is a good thing. It’s one of the many signs that a relationship is good and strong and possibly lasting. But comfort can also lead to complacency. And that’s not good.

Am I saying that clothes and make-up make the woman, and that those things are the only ones a man should notice? No, not at all. What I am saying is that while comfort is good, maybe too much comfort is not. There was a reason why you both found each other special in the first place–a reason why you wanted to make things special for him, and that he, no doubt, wanted to make himself special for you. In the midst of all that comfort, don’t forget the special. Keep the sparks flying by never forgetting what made each of you think the other was so special in the first place. It will make that transition from date to couple much easier and a lot more fun!

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