A divorce can be a life changing event. Rather then dwelling on the past and the differences that have suddenly come up, keep your head up and focus on the positives. Lee Block offers advice on for the holiday season by giving Identity readers tips on how to keep your family traditions alive.
By Lee Block
Just because you are divorced doesn’t mean the holidays take a break as well. It is important for your children and for you that you make your own traditions as the new family unit that you now are.
The mom and dad watching the kids opening gifts on Christmas morning may not exist anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy the holidays in a whole new way.
Whether you have your children or not over the holidays, here are several tips to get you back on the right track and into the holiday spirit after divorce.
Start your own. Because you are no longer the same type of family unit, it is important to do things a different way than when you did them as a family unit. Whether it is having a movie night on New Year’s Eve and then a celebration at midnight or having a big Christmas Eve night instead of a Christmas morning, make them fun and involve the kids in the planning so they feel more comfortable.
Speaking to the parent without custody. Make it a tradition that the children get to speak to the other parent when they aren’t with them for the holidays. Whether by Skype or phone, it is a great way for them to still feel connected and also to help the other parent who is without the kids on the holiday.
Have an adventure. Take a trip and go somewhere you always wanted to go. If you don’t have your children, now is the time to go out and have some fun. Don’t spend that time alone, which leads to depression. If you do have your kids, hit the road and have an adventure. Make it a surprise destination and do things you wouldn’t normally do if you were at home.
Any day can be a holiday. Who said that Christmas has to come on the 25th or that Thanksgiving has to be the last Thursday of November? If you don’t have your kids, you can still celebrate. Pick another day when you do have them and let them know you are going to be having a big celebration then. Decorate the tree and house and do it up then. Not only does this provide a great celebration, but also this is something that your kids can brag about because no other family does it!
Make it fun. Especially the first few years, so your kids can see that this new nuclear family is just as great as the one where both parents lived in the same house.
Have a party. Whether you are alone or not on the holidays, doesn’t mean you have to wait to get an invitation from someone to go to his or her house. Have your own celebration and invite everyone to you. Having a house full of people will keep the loneliness at bay, entertain the kids and start a wonderful new tradition you can continue every year, giving everyone something to look forward to.
What’s important about the holiday season is not the gifts under the tree or the size of the turkey, but how you celebrate and the memories you make. So, although your family is different now, go out and make some new memories, you won’t regret it and in the end, your kids will love it.
Lee Block is a certified professional divorce coach and a twice-divorced mom of two who saw a need in the post-divorce community and created a family of sites centered around fulfilling that need. Lee has successfully launched The Post-Divorce Chronicles, Lee Block.Com, and The Post-Divorce Dating Club, all within a matter of months. To find out more about Lee, visit her website www.leeblock.com
Lee is offering a 30% discount on any membership at Post-Divorce Dating Club to our readers who are re-singled! Just use the code P2011R at checkout!
