Relationships can be tricky. They take time and effort from both partners. But how do you know if you are with someone who is right for you? Well, Jen Hancock is here with seven types of people to keep an eye out for when getting into a relationship. These people are not the right people for you, or anyone for that matter. Keep these tips in mind when going on your next date.
By Jen Hancock
One red flag is too many red flags. If a red flag goes off, it is going off for a reason. Ignore it at your own risk.
To quote from my book: “A healthy relationship is predicated on both parties being compassionate, ethical and responsible. If one of those traits is missing, there will be trouble in paradise.”
A bad relationship is someone who is harmful for you to be around. I list seven particular bad sorts of people that, if you meet them, you should run away from as fast as possible.
- Insane. The most important thing that is needed for a health relationship is for the people involved to be healthy. If one is seriously mentally ill, you are going to have a difficult relationship. If you want to put in the effort, go for it, but it’s going to take a lot of work and depending on the mental illness, could actually be dangerous.
- Drama Queens and Kings. If the person has a regularly scheduled weekly or bi-weekly freak out over whatever is wrong with their life this week, it isn’t going to get better. You need to decide if you can live with the drama or not.
- First Date Confessions. Most people who have problems will tell you everything that is wrong with them on your first date. Troubled people love talking about their problems and most have impulse control problems so they can’t help themselves. Take what people say seriously. If they say they are dealing with a drug problem, they really are.
- Bad Boys and Poison Women. Beware of people exuding magnetic sexual attraction. It may be exciting to be wanted by someone who wants you in such a raw animal manner, but all this person can offer is sex. It usually isn’t very good sex, because they are too self-absorbed to make a great partner. Though you will learn some new tricks and positions, it comes at the cost of a very narcissistic personality and the potential for STIs. Swingers who aren’t mentally unstable do not come off as magnetically sexually attractive – they just don’t. This isn’t a matter of sexual activity as much as it is a matter of sexually magnetic narcissism.
- Basic Maintenance issues. If someone can’t seem to find housing, transportation and is always between jobs, they aren’t able to cope with the basic fundamentals of life. Unless you want to be a sugar daddy or mama steer clear. And for the record, sugar daddies and mamas don’t take people so incompetent on. They can’t be helped, don’t try.
- Fool Rushing In. Sane people take their time in getting to know other people. If you meet someone who on first meeting has declared themselves head over heels in love with you, be afraid. Be very afraid. It isn’t normal. It isn’t flattering. They may be sincere, but by pressing for a commitment so fast, what they are really doing is hoping you will commit to them before you find out how insane they are.
- Anger management. If someone can’t control their anger, they are dangerous to be around. This isn’t something you can work through. If they blow up at a stranger on a first date, or at you, they can’t control their behavior and emotions enough to even behave civilized for a couple of hours. This is the biggest red flag and the most dangerous one. Unless you like being emotionally and physically abused, avoid angry people.
Jen is the author of The Humanist Approach to Happiness: Practical Wisdom. Please visit her website http://happiness.jen-hancock.com for more information.