I “Suck” to I “Rock”

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Written by TeamIdentity

I have accepted that I am an introvert and that I was born with an addictive personality. I used to see these as tremendous flaws that made me “less than” everyone else. I no longer see myself as broken, flawed, or in need of fixing. All of me is awesome.

Achieve Self-Confidence internally and physically – that’s what Elaine was able to do.  After years of having almost everything on the outside, Elaine decided to do something about achieving self-confidence on the inside, too.  Now lighter and better than ever, Elaine wants to help you achieve self-confidence, too.

“It’s Not About the Fat Loss”
Achieve Self-Confidence

By Elaine Morales

Bottoming out over a pint of Ben and Jerry’s a few years ago, my plump rump settled into its groove on the sofa cushion in front of another Tivo’d Grey’s Anatomy. I was crying into my ice cream bowl, wishing and hoping for a way out of my misery. Objectively, I had absolutely nothing to feel miserable about.   I had a happy childhood, went to a good school, married my college sweetheart, had two great kids, was successfully self-employed, and owned a host of material goods.

Despite the fact that I looked great “on paper,” inside I felt that I just…sucked.   I was anxious, tired, and irritable.   I felt frustrated and disappointed in myself.   I lacked self-confidence and needed to achieve self-confidence.

To make myself feel better, I ate.

For 30 years, I was stuck in the feel bad — binge — feel bad cycle that pathetically overshadowed all the good things in my life.   How bad was it?   If forced to choose between an evening alone with my husband and an evening alone with my lovers Ben & Jerry, I’d probably be divorced right now.

Take Charge and Achieve Self-Confidence

The morning after that final, lonesome binge, I received a prophetic message in my Inbox. The subject line read “Here’s the motivation you’ve been looking for” and I clicked to open it. It was a promotion for a physique transformation contest.   That was the moment I decided to go all in.

Truthfully, on the day I committed to following a daily exercise and nutrition plan, my motivation was completely superficial — to shed the embarrassing after-effects of my serious and persistent premium ice cream habit.

Achieve Self-Confidence

And I did it! I worked out and followed a healthy eating plan every single day for 84 days and got into the best shape of my life.   I won the contest and earned a prize weekend in New York City, a professional photo shoot, and a training session with a respected fitness guru.

Surprisingly, it was not achieving a fit and toned beach body that made me feel so proud and happy.

The BEST thing about my transformation was what happened on the inside and that in fact I DID achieve self-confidence and much more!

–      My self-confidence shot through the roof.
–      I believe in myself and feel utterly unstoppable.   I can accomplish anything I want.
–      I am mentally and physically strong.   Bring it on.
–      I experience moments of pure joy on a daily basis, and for no particular reason.
–      I am no longer wishing and hoping because I am living the life of my dreams.
–      My overall mood has changed from “I suck.” to “I Rock.”

Sure, walking around in a body that is in incredible shape feels fantastic.   But I learned that will only take me so far.   When life throws that unpleasant stuff our way — a flat tire on the interstate, a call from your kid’s school, the threat of layoffs at the office, an unpleasant break up   —   a flat stomach is NOT going to carry you through.

My life changed, not when I hit a certain number on the scale, but when I learned to believe in my inner awesomeness and my limitless potential.   Since then:

–      I competed in three figure competitions, taking home two trophies at the age of 43.

–      A week after my first figure contest, I completed my first half marathon in 2 hours and 10 minutes.   A year later, I ran that race again and shaved 6 minutes and 40 seconds from my time.

–      I finished the 100 mile Ride for Autism.

This, from a woman who failed gym in high school and would hide in the kitchen with the cookies when it came time to pick teams for the family softball tournament.

Paying It Forward

Learning to love myself and my life by making a commitment to healthy eating and physical training was a turning point in my life and i truly achieved self-confidence.   I feel so amazing that I wanted to be able to pass this gift on to everyone I meet!   Since it’s not actually possible to bottle up health and happiness in a pill and sell it, I have done the following:

–      Wrote a book, Why Delay Amazing? A Total Transformation Guide that provides the blueprint for how I totally transformed my body and my life.

–      Became a Certified Holistic Health Coach to support other women to achieve the bodies and lives of their dreams

In keeping with the Identity 5 theme, Elaine answers the Identity 5:

What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?

I have come to accept that experiencing fear is part of life and part of human nature.   I used to think that fear was something to be overcome and that experiencing doubt and fear made me weak.   I thought if only I could be stronger, then I could live completely fearless!

This belief held me back from experiencing so many things in life.   I wouldn’t try new things or introduce myself to people.   I would sit back and watch while others engaged in new adventures.   I missed out on so many opportunities and caused myself so much unnecessary pain.

I was blown away recently at a Madonna concert.   During one number, she lifted her shirt to reveal the words NO FEAR painted across her back.   Duh.   Of course, MADONNA is fearless.   But, no.   She explained, “My New Year’s resolution was to do one thing each day without fear.   To challenge myself to feel the fear and do it anyway.”   What?   Madonna experiences fear and doubt?

Now I know that fear is part of the fun of being alive.   It connects us to others; it doesn’t separate us.   We are all walking around scared and doubting half the time!

What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

I have been blessed to have the most amazing people in my life.   I am so loved.   However, I couldn’t really see or feel that until I learned to love myself.   Now, it’s like POW.   I am knocked over by a tsunami of good vibrations and loving support each and every day.

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

One of my most rewarding achievements (I can now look back on my life and see that there have been many!) was graduating with honors from Princeton University. I am first-generation Mexican-American on my father’s side of the family.   My grandmother had an 8th grade education.   My parents were married young and did not complete Bachelor’s degrees.   Earning an Ivy League degree was a tremendous achievement and changed the course of my life.

I am so proud and so grateful.   One major goal I have in life is to give back in a significant way.   One way I am doing this is through a fundraising campaign I have launched on behalf of Pencils of Promise.   This organization builds schools in developing nations. In addition to making a personal contribution, I have pledged to match every gift to my campaign, dollar for dollar, in order to build a school in Guatemala to provide educational opportunity to children in that country.   If anyone would like to join me, you can make a donation here:   http://pencil.li/QpFoOC

I would also like to write a book about my great-grandfather, Manuel Morales, who was canonized as a Catholic Saint in May 2000.

What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

I have accepted that I am an introvert and that I was born with an addictive personality.   I used to see these as tremendous flaws that made me “less than” everyone else.   I no longer see myself as broken, flawed, or in need of fixing.   All of me is awesome.

How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

Enthusiasm.   Sense of Adventure.   Choice of Words.   Fuchsia Cowboy Boots.   Life. My ability to achieve self-confidence

Elaine Morales is a Health and Lifestyle Transformation Coach. Learn more about Elaine here: www.notjustadaydream.com

All of Identity’s October articles will be representing the Charity, Sole Ryeders. Sole Ryeders will be raising money for a fund to supply Breast BFFL Bags to the under-served in White Plains, NY at White Plains Hospital.   Tax Deductible donations can be made directly to the hospital or Sole Ryeders. Please feel free to make a donation below.

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Our mission is to empower women to "Get All A’s in their Game of Life" by discovering their powers and transforming through Self-Acceptance, Appreciation, and Personal Achievement—through all of our content and collaborations.

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