Divorce — AKA — The D Spot.
Welcome to The D Spot’s Sponsored “Extraordinary Love” Column. Our company values our community and believes that it is important to continue to support one another. Each month a woman from The D Spot community will be featured and sharing her story in hopes to inspire you to continue to have extraordinary love or to find and receive extraordinary love. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact Laura at The D Spot.
Getting to know Kelly, her story and how The D Spot community has supported her after her divorce!
Please share your marriage/divorce story and how you found The D Spot Community?
I found The D Spot Community on FaceBook a couple of years ago. I had reached out to Laura after facing a traumatic health crisis in 2010. I was divorced, broken both physically and emotionally and looking for direction. I wanted help yet I didn’t know where to find it. Laura had a very direct and passionate approach that quickly resonated with me. Thus, I moved forward. It has proven to be the best decision I have made in order to move on from the aftermath of divorce.
2. How has The D Spot Community helped you move through difficult times?
The D Spot Community has helped me tremendously in every area of my life. It is hard for me to articulate in words exactly how helpful The D Spot has been because it hasn’t served as just an ‘aide in healing’ but an anchor in changing the direction of my entire life.
My challenge was reclaiming the life that I have deserved & wanted which included a healthy loving relationship with my significant other. Laura worked diligently with me and patiently while I explored every area of my inner terrain to finely reclaim my confident creative self. I found myself through what proved to be a painful, lengthy yet incredibly rewarding experience. My life has literally changed to the degree that I am bewildered & joyful. I am the me that I have wanted to be for years. While I am a work in progress, I have come leaps and bounds further than I could have ever imagined. I am also in a very healthy, loving and amazing relationship with the man of my dreams. Yes, we certainly have our challenges but I have learned so many relationship strategies through The D Spot Community, to make my love life extend beyond ‘ordinary’ to ‘extraordinary’. I am still in awe that my life has moved in the direction that I had only truly dreamed about. I am looking forward to seeing what level I take my life to next!
3. What advice would you give to a woman that may be going through a divorce?
My advice would be to call Laura Campbell. I mean it. I think having someone that is a professional walk along side of you during the stages of divorce is beneficial & one you cannot put a price tag on. My advice is also to take care of yourself emotionally, spiritually and physically to the best of your ability. The D Spot Community stresses taking care of YOU and loving yourself enough to live the life you have always wanted to live. We owe that to ourselves. Divorce – for me – has turned out to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Why? B/c I took the time to work on who I am and turned myself into who I always wanted to be. I am this flawed individual sewn together with good intentions. I am also courageous and any woman going through divorce needs to dig deep to realize that they too are courageous.
4. What has been your biggest achievement through this process?
My biggest achievement through this process has been two-fold: First, I found my inner voice. I have learned to surround myself with friendships and people that inspire me – who lift me up and love me for who I truly am as I stand today. I have learned to say ‘no’ to toxic relationships and walk away from individuals that weren’t serving a healthy purpose in my life. This alone did wonders for my self-esteem and self-confidence. Secondly, my biggest achievement has been my relationship with my boyfriend. We have managed to turn criticism into curiosity and by allowing ourselves to be honest & vulnerable, we are in the midst of creating by far the most extraordinary love affair I have ever been a part of. I absolutely would not be able to sustain this relationship without the guidance from The D Spot Community. The results have been fruitful! I am so beyond proud of myself. I am grateful that I turned to The D Spot for help because sometimes the best thing to do is admitting we need help.
5. What were your initial steps into making the decision to fight for extraordinary love in your life?
My first step in making the decision to fight for extraordinary love in my life was to decide that I deserve it. I do deserve extraordinary love. When you realize that you actually deserve it, you can go after it.
My second step was to realize that I have to have an extraordinary love affair with myself and my own life first. I have to love who I am – just as I am. I have to love what I do with my time, who I surround myself with and what I do for a living. I have to love myself enough to say “Yes I am divorced and so what”! I am going after everything I have always wanted and I am going to get it all.
My third & final step was to do the work that the The D Spot suggested. It was quite hard initially and required a lot of introspective truth but it was worth it because my life is worth it….I am worth it.
Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.
1. What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?
I have ultimately learned how to accept love and for me, this was the biggest lesson of all. I have come to a place in life where I realize that I can have and be everything I ever wanted. This extraordinary life IS possible.
2. What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?
I genuinely appreciate my willingness to learn, change and grow. There are so many people unwilling to take a look in the mirror and realize that it is the person staring back at their reflection that needs to change. I was able to do that and in addition, do the hard work that follows intention to change.
I also appreciate my ability to love fully after divorce. We have the choice to become bitter and resentful or even self-loathe but I chose to stay compassionate, loving, hopeful and kind. I made the right decision.
Finally, I appreciate those that have believed in me along the way. The D Spot Community believed in me every single step of the way and their belief in me was genuine, heartfelt and real. I appreciate those people that stand by me through what has proved to be the greatest transition in my life. As for those that haven’t, I appreciate the lessons learned in those relationships as well. I have learned so much through this experience that it is remarkable.
3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?
One of my most awarding achievements in life is being true to who I am and what I want. My faith in Jesus Christ is also so rewarding because it serves as the foundation of what I stand for and who I am.
I am living my truth now. I was once overwhelmed by what others thought of me and I dreamed about who I really wanted to be. Well I was always ‘her’, I just needed to get out of my own way. I don’t just accept who I am, I celebrate who I am. Those that do not accept who I am simply aren’t in my life any longer.
I have so many goals as I am incredibly passionate about this life I have been blessed with! I am gaining momentum as it pertains to my health every single day. My goal is to regain my health entirely and I am very close! I am going to go back into a career of medical sales of which I love! My goal is to thrive in the relationship with my significant other while maintaining fabulous fun friendships. My goals are ultimately simple because at the core of them, I want to love fully and be loved as fully right on back.
4. What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?
I am quite the sensitive gal. I can be overly emotional and dare I admit, dramatic. I tend to want to solve conflict of any sort right then and there….even if the person I am having conflict with doesn’t want to continue the conversation. Why wait for tomorrow when we can solve this right this moment?! I smile at myself because I love myself so much exactly how I am. I actually get a kick out of my flaws now and while I work to resolve them, I accept myself as I am (and psst….I actually like who I am)!
5. How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”
I love my life…..finally. I love who I have become. I love and adore the friendships I have cultivated. I love my significant other with all of my heart for continuously striving to improve along side of me. I love these exact moments because they are precisely where I am supposed to be right now. Finally, I love that my extraordinary life came about as a result of what I thought was the worst thing that could happen to me – divorce. Little did I know at the time that it would turn out to be the biggest blessing life could offer me and more.
