Self-love is one of the most precious gifts we can give ourselves. Join guest author Vironika Tugaleva as she shares “13 Reasons to Love Yourself as You Are Right Now.“
Written by Vironika Tugaleva What does your perfect love look like? What does it feel like? What does your ultimate lover do and say? How does that compare to how you treat yourself? Self-love is the process of loving yourself the way you want to be loved. It is the act of being your own lover. Loving yourself isn’t something that just happens. It’s a lifelong process full of laughter and tears. Self-love is one of the most precious gifts we can give ourselves. There are so many reasons to love yourself, as you are, right now! I’ve compiled 13 of them below. I hope that this list inspires you to give your love to its most deserving recipient — YOU! Self-love can help you…
Form Lasting, Mutually Supportive Relationships
Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other.” – Russ von Hoelscher When you love yourself, you give yourself what deserve. You spend your time on things you enjoy. You find out what you’re good at. You find out what you want. When you love yourself, you attract people who share your values, appreciate your strengths, and complement your abilities. You attract people whose authentic selves work with your authentic self.
Discover Your Unique Talents
We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” -Mary Dunbar Everyone has their own set of gifts to offer the world. To love yourself is to find and appreciate the unique talents you possess. Then, when you capitalize on those talents, you’ll earn appreciation from others, self-confidence, and a purpose-driven life.
Never Feel Lonely
You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” -Diane Von Furstenberg Loneliness is a symptom of low self-esteem. If you have a positive relationship with yourself, loneliness doesn’t happen. When we’re lonely, we think we want to be around others when, really, we just want to be away from ourselves. Think of a time when your inner voice was your worst critic. Imagine meeting a person who talked to you that way. Would you want to be around them? Of course, not! This is exactly why we crave company when we’re in the presence of critical selves — because we want to escape. Self-love means you’ll never want to escape yourself again, so you’ll never be lonely.
Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself.” -Robert Collier To love yourself is to believe in yourself. Believing in yourself gives you determination which is stronger and more powerful than any obstacle. You will also have nothing to lose by taking risks because you’ll always have a solid foundation of self-love to fall back on if your endeavor does not work out. Self-love is key in risk taking. Risk taking is key in creativity. Creativity is key in success.
Love More, Give More
If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.” -Barbara De Angelis It may be a clichÃ©, but you really must love yourself first before you love anyone else. What you give to others is a reflection of what you give to yourself. If you do not give yourself love and appreciation, you will not give them to anyone else. You will give others jealousy or criticism. When you become more loving to your authentic self, you also become more kind, loving, and generous to others.
Stand Up For Yourself
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.” -W.C. Fields What others give you is, also, a reflection of what they give themselves. Simply because of their own self-loathing, people will sometimes say or do things that have the potential to harm or manipulate you. Self-love gives you the ability to detect this potential and the self-respect to walk away.
Self-esteem is as important to our well-being as legs are to a table. It is essential for physical and mental health and for happiness.” -Louise Hart You don’t want to harm people that you love. You would never deprive or poison someone you love. Self-love is a prerequisite for self-care. Loving yourself makes you much more likely to lead a healthy lifestyle where you eat well and exercise. You’re also more likely to deal with past hurts, resolve conflicts, and other wise care for your mental health
Detox Your Emotions
Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery.” -Matthew Arnold If you don’t love yourself, no amount of pleasures or accomplishments will save you from constantly returning to that dark place of self-pity and self-destruction. That place is toxic. The day you resolve to love yourself is the day you begin to clean the toxic effects of self-loathing out of your body so that, someday, you never have to go back to that place again.
Grow and Learn
You are as amazing as you let yourself be. Let me repeat that. You are as amazing as you let yourself be.” -Elizabeth Alraune We all make mistakes. We all reach roadblocks. We all have fears. Powered by self-love, we learn from our mistakes, go around our roadblocks, and face our fears. Loving yourself gives you self-efficacy in the face of all life’s challenges. That way, you will always keep growing and learning instead of stalling and stewing.
Feel Beautiful, Be Beautiful
For once, you believed in yourself. You believed you were beautiful and so did the rest of the world.” -Sarah Dessen It has been said that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. The most frequent beholder of your beauty is you. The more you love yourself, the more beautiful you feel. Then, you develop self-confidence, which, in turn, makes you more beautiful to others. When you find beauty in yourself, you expose that beauty to the world and, thus, give others the chance to see and admire it.
Find True Happiness
Scarcity of self value cannot be remedied by money, recognition, affection, attention or influence.” -Gary Zukav Many people seek happiness outside of themselves. They get the car, the money, the job and, perhaps, feel happy for a moment before those feelings drain and they’re left wanting more. This is not really “happiness”. True happiness lasts. True happiness comes from within. To love yourself is to fill yourself with a powerful, positive emotion that does not constantly dry up. It gets more and more powerful the more you nurture it.
Lead a Fuller, Richer life
When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits — anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” -Kim McMillen When you discover and love your authentic self, you begin to attract everything that is conducive to self-love. You also become more attracted to things which enrich your authentic self and less attracted to the things which harm your authentic self. As the things that don’t benefit you naturally fall away, you are then left with is a life full of everything that compels you to love, grow, and be happy.
Be More Productive
Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ” -M. Scott Peck We can either spend our time fretting over things we can’t change or capitalizing on those which we can. To love yourself is to accept yourself as you authentically are. Once you do that, you are better able to recognize opportunities for growth and improvement. This leads to more productivity in every aspect of your life. Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this article, please share it! You’re just one click away from spreading self-love to others! I also welcome your comments. I would love to know which reason resonated with you most and why.
Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s. What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally? I’ve accepted… my authentic beauty by boycotting cosmetics. It was the best decision I ever made! What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life? I appreciate… having the chance to make a difference by encouraging people to be more authentic. I love having the opportunity to hear people’s stories and to help them on their journey to being who they are. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have? I’ve achieved… the privilege of following my heart by pursuing a writing career. Since I made the decision to follow my dreams, I’ve had a sense of purpose and meaning that I wish I knew existed earlier! My goal is to publish a book by the end of the year. What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity? I’m imperfect because… I try so hard to be perfect. I burn out. I remember that perfect doesn’t exist. I vow to never be so hard on myself again. And then I do it again. How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?” I love my… mind. I love my addiction to ideas and my endless thirst for patterns.
Vironika Tugaleva is a writer, editor, and musician originally from Donetsk, Ukraine, currently living in Toronto, Canada. Vironika is a passionate advocate for authenticity, compassion, and positive change. She is especially interested in applying these principles to philosophy, psychology, health, gender issues, and personal development.