Why Worry? Choose a Different Thought

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Written by Diana St. Lifer

It’s not the actual change in circumstance as much as it’s our thoughts of change that can bring anxiety levels rising. Join author Diana St. Lifer as she shares “Why Worry? Choose a Different Thought.

Written By Diana St. Lifer

A few nights ago my husband Evan and younger son Luke sat down for dinner. I told them to wait 10 minutes for Alex, my older son, to get home. “I want to have a nice family meal together,” I said. Between the boys’ social and school schedules, and Evan’s business travel, family dinners have been few and far in between these days. I was looking forward to having somewhat of a Cleaver family-like dining experience when Luke, whose never been shy about telling it like it is, said, “Face it mom; in a few months this IS the family.” Then he dug into his mashed potatoes.

Ouch. But he’s right. At some point this summer Alex will head off to college and more will change than having one less setting at the table. Even when change is expected–after all, it’s not like I didn’t know that one day he’d be heading off to college–it can be challenging.

Why WorryIt’s not the actual change in circumstance as much as it’s our thoughts of what the change could bring that gets anxiety levels rising. I use the word “could” because we can never be certain what the future holds. But we do know that change is the unknown frontier. Even in situations where there is no reason not to believe that all will be well, our minds still tend to take us down the dark and scary road of “what if…”

Truth is, what makes us fearful is the unknown, so we worry, which is nothing more than thinking that something undesired will happen. But the unknown is just that–unknown. I have no idea what the future holds. So as Alex prepares to head off on this new chapter in his life, I have no reason not to believe that happiness, success, and adventure will ensue…for all of us. It’s just as easy to have that thought as it is to worry, so I choose the former. It is simply a matter a choice.

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?
I have accepted that the people who truly love me accept me for who I am, and wouldn’t want me to change to please them. That is unconditional love.

What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?
I appreciate that I want to continually learn new things about myself, which in turn helps me appreciate something new in everyone every day.

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?
Watching my sons grow into independent, self-sufficient, creative young men has been one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of my life. My goals for 2013 include growing my business to help even more teens become more confident, resilient, and self-reliant.

What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?
I need some things to be just so. And I know that drives some people crazy. The pillows on the bed should be a certain way; the toilet paper goes over the roll, not under; and Heaven forbid socks go into the laundry inside out. I know it’s a bit obsessive, but that’s what makes me, me!

How would you complete the phrase“ I Love My…?”
Family–My husband and two sons, Alex and Luke. They are the three people who, without a doubt, unconditionally love me for just being me.

About the author

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Diana St. Lifer

Diana St. Lifer, founder of Choices by Design LLC, is a certified professional life coach who helps others get the most out of life through goal-oriented choice making and positive attitude development. In her work with young adults, Diana helps build their confidence, become more resilient, and develop a healthy self-esteem as they navigate the rocky teen years. The adults she works learn to understand what it means to live by choice, not chance, and how to make changes instead of excuses to get what they want and where they want to be.

Our lives are the result of the choices we make. When you master the process of conscious choice making, you can create the life you’ve always wanted. Diana helps others gain the confidence to move in the direction of their dreams in ways they never thought possible.

Diana is certified by the renowned Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching, where she also became a master practitioner in Energy Leadership. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Communications and Post B.A. certificate in Child Advocacy. In addition to being a United Way-certified mentor, she is a co-facilitator of the Montclair-Caldwell (NJ) Chapter of Powerful You! Women’s Network.

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