Decode Your Moods

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Written by Audrey Pellicano

Moods, emotions and feelings can’t be decoded when we don’t recognize them. Join author Audrey Pellicano as she shares “Decode Your Moods.

Written by Audrey Pellicano

moodWhat are moods? According to the dictionary they are “a temporary state of mind or feeling”. My first recollection of what a mood was, came from my mother when I was “moody”, usually indicating a negative state of mind. A “good mood” on the other hand was never acknowledged. And never would I be asked what could have been behind the “mood“, good or bad. A feeling perhaps! Must be that “time of the month” or more recently related to the condition of “menopause”! Not that I’m discounting that our hormones do, at times, run a muck but, it is usually related to an increase in our vulnerability and an increase sense of feeling.

In my work as a Grief Specialist, my clients experience many “moods”, quite often within any given day. I don’t ask “how’s your mood today”, I ask ” how do you feel today”? Frequently there is a distinct pause as one searches to connect with a feeling, not always easy.

We may even announce to others that we’re in a bad mood or a good mood. Do we ever go beyond that and look at why? We’re experiencing a feeling based on a thought that produced an emotion. We may minimize the emotion or not even recognize the connection. If we function in this way, we will not be able to replicate this “mood”/feeling which, if the feeling is good, wouldn’t you want to ground it within and be able to tap into it again?

Take a look at the examples above on the faces of emotions. Can you connect with these images and relate to the feeling associated with the outward expression? Try it! Notice the visceral response you may feel.

Moods, emotions, feelings can’t be decoded when we don’t recognize them and give them space but rather ignore or choose not to go there. Then we only move through the day, many times being attached to a mood unable to shake it and not being in touch to the corresponding feeling. Left unaddressed we can continue to harbor a negative place of being.

What if we took a time out and a step back? A “just wait a minute” moment to look at the emotion showing on our face and that we feel in our hearts. This morning I was feeling frustrated, my mood was less then a “good mood” and my body and face showed tension. It was not a good feeling place. When I took a look, I noticed the tension in my jaw, the tightness in my muscles. It was a morning of deadlines in addition to the endless text messages from unknowing souls. It was my response, a less than healthy one, to the pressures I was allowing and the thought of OMG! It was the mood and face of frustration! So, I paused, took three deep breaths, relaxed my jaw and muscles and went inside to find that feeling of relief. What could I do to tap into that feeling? I turned off my phone and addressed what was right in front of me with a sense of calm and enjoyment. Mood decoded and disarmed.

We may blame other outside causes of a given mood, usually something we perceive as outside of our control. But, we can control our response or mood in any given situation and depending on the intensity, we need to adjust our response. Next time you feel (key word) a mood, look at the feeling where ever it might be in your body. If your feeling is less than good, release it, consciously. Then connect with what you’ve experienced as a good feeling and anchor it by acknowledging to yourself that this FEELS good in your heart, your gut, your head.

When you notice someone in a “mood” or referring to being in one, good or bad, ask what they are feeling. Feeling “good” is not “good enough” nor is a “bad mood”. Le’ts just go a bit deeper!

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?
I accept myself on a daily basis as I cannot be anyone else.

What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?
I appreciate that I can identify and connect with feelings and look at healthier responses.

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?
One rewarding achievement is being good at my life’s calling. My goals are around being even more present for those I live and work with.

What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?
My not so perfect way is when I forget to be a big heart with ears around family issues. My imperfection as seen by some that I embrace is my directness.

How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?
I love myself!

About the author

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Audrey Pellicano

Audrey Pellicano R.N., M.S. is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. She has been in the health care industry for 37 years as a Registered Nurse, Case Manager with a Masters degree in Health Science. Having been widowed at the age of 38 with 4 young children Audrey pursued complimentary therapies and earned certification in Guided Imagery, Yoga, Meditation, Nutrition and Grief Recovery and is a student of Thanatology. She has used these skills to work with those challenged with panic and anxiety related to life and health challenges, and has developed her grief program to provide relief and hope for those grieving a loss. Her unique approach encompasses utilizing the dynamic tools that she knows from experience do work.
Audrey speaks to corporations on the subject of Grief in the Workplace: How to Support Employees Returning to Work After a Loss and provides training for managers, human resources and co-workers. In addition she works with clients one-on-one and provides group telephone programs on Grief Recovery and Healthy Living After Loss. You can see her upcoming programs at

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