Blowing Bubbles: How To Discern What’s Real From What Isn’t

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Written by Lorna Anne

The coffee cup is always half empty and about to get less—plus the coffee isn’t good anyway! But the other end of the pendulum swing is also prevalent, especially among people who run in reaction to those negative thinkers.

Are you ever not sure how to “take” someone or something? Can you trust them? Do you know what’s real and what’s not? This will article by Lorna Anne will help you figure it out!

There are those who are, what could be called, poverty thinkers. The coffee cup is always half empty and about to get less–plus the coffee isn’t good anyway! But the other end of the pendulum swing is also prevalent, especially among people who run in reaction to those negative thinkers. They don’t want to think badly about anyone or anything. They like to think of their world as a happy bubble.

This can be carried too far, however, when one’s view of reality can border on fantasy and fiction. We see it as we’d like to believe it is, rather than how it really is. Reality is subjective, and it’s a slippery elusive place. Do we really want to think “badly” (notice the adverb) about someone or something?

When we stand on the precipice of a moment, we know what has already happened, for better or worse; and what is happening is before us. We may agree it’s not ideal, maybe even downright horrible; but what is going to happen is up for grabs, so to speak. And that fulfillment of the dream holds many. A lot of pain and misery could be averted or endured if we only knew if there was truly hope for positive change, or if we’re wasting a lot of air blowing bubbles that cannot sustain existence.

The solution is to pay attention to your feelings. How are you feeling about the person or situation? If you’re cajoling yourself into believing everything will be all right, but your emotions are resistant to that way of thinking, then you are deluding yourself, and it’s time to take a pro-active strategy.

Why don’t we want to see things as they really are, rather than clinging to the heady intoxication of the bubbles of success? For one, because it brings up having to take control, and might even bring up the “C-word” –confrontation — which many fear. And secondly, to see something as negative, wrong or bad brings up the idea of failure because we’re not living in a happy bubble. But we must speak up and ask the necessary questions, set up boundaries and standards for what we want life to be. Women bear an extra stigma, which can make it harder. Many times when they confront a situation and say that something must be remedied, they’re labeled — you know what! “Stop your complaining, B—-!”
Rather than avoiding or covering up problems, exposing them makes them accessible for change. That allows the light of day to reach what’s being hidden beneath denial. Like all pendulum swings, balance is in the middle.

In our world, we will most assuredly be given realities that may be unsavory. Why not call it for what it is and be pro-active in changing and transforming it into something that is workable? It’s better that trying to hold bubbles in our hands to keep them from breaking.

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?

I have accepted myself as a whole.

What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

I appreciate everything in life and everything that comes my way.

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

My spiritual work. My goal is to help others learn what I have learned.

What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

I am an individual and I stand up for truth and what is right.

How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

I love my life

About the author

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Lorna Anne

Lorna Anne received a psychology degree from the University of New Hampshire. Much of her knowledge comes from her own private esoteric studies of ancient documents of wisdom. She has been a practicing counselor for more than 20 years in New Orleans, Honolulu, and Washington state where she spent several years studying dream interpretation with a Jungian therapist. She currently resides in Chatham, Ma, and counsels either in person or on the phone. For inquiries, please contact Lorna via E-mail at, or on Face book a

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