Loving Who I Am and So Can You

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Written by Audrey Pellicano

Have you ever stared at yourself in a mirror? It is a strange experience. When you stare deeply, the face in the mirror becomes almost unrecognizable. Weird! Is that me? What are those lines, those red spots, why does my nose look so big?

Audrey Pellicano offers true wisdom in her sharing today. She explains that true self-love and acceptance comes when you give to others. Giving to others is also the fastest way to get to know ourselves on a deeper level – accept ourselves – and achieve greater levels of success in our lives.

Have you ever stared at yourself in a mirror? It is a strange experience. When you stare deeply, the face in the mirror becomes almost unrecognizable. Weird! Is that me? What are those lines, those red spots, why does my nose look so big? Can I see inside the image if I stare hard enough. Is the image in the mirror who I am or is it just the container for who I am?

Thank god the image is not our identity. When we let go of believing that we are that image, we free ourselves. That image will age, gracefully I hope, but age it will. Our hair will gray, the lines on our faces will deepen. But you can love who you are none the less.

Audrey Pellicano is a Grief Recovery SpecialistThis not an egotistical love of self. It is that deep smile, that authentic feeling in your heart that feels light and to some extent without care. Most often we experience that sense of loving who we are when we give of ourselves. You see, if you don’t have love within yourself, love of yourself, you have nothing to give to others. It’s like wanting to give someone apples but all you have are oranges.

It’s not that every day I wake up filled with self love but on those days when I feel less love for myself, the best way to get that feeling back is to give some of what I do have to someone else. It can be a gesture as small as holding the door for someone. Letting some one go ahead of me on a line, asking the clerk how they are feeling today or telling them what pretty eyes they have, what a great tie. If you give it away you get back that feeling love. Those gestures will bring a smile to your face and your heart will begin to fill with self love.

I volunteer for a local Hospice doing bereavement follow-up phone calls. This is my career also but, there are many who cannot afford my services. So, to help as many woman as possible I give a few hours a week to he those grieving a loss to know that someone is there for them. Every week I feel that in my giving a little bit of my time, I get back tenfold. How can you give so you can grow in self love?

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?
I accept that I cannot do physically at sixty what I could do at fifty.

What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?
I appreciate my ability to listen and hear beyond what is being said.

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?
Although it wasn’t a goal, being featured in the NY Times and having the quotation of the day for June 17th was quite an achievement!

What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?
The appearance of my “meno-pot belly”. Where did that come from and hard as I try, it’s here to stay. Love it!

How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”
I love my hair! I’m so appreciative that I have no grey in my hair so I never have to get it died. It’s naturally curly, thick and beautiful.

About the author

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Audrey Pellicano

Audrey Pellicano R.N., M.S. is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. She has been in the health care industry for 37 years as a Registered Nurse, Case Manager with a Masters degree in Health Science. Having been widowed at the age of 38 with 4 young children Audrey pursued complimentary therapies and earned certification in Guided Imagery, Yoga, Meditation, Nutrition and Grief Recovery and is a student of Thanatology. She has used these skills to work with those challenged with panic and anxiety related to life and health challenges, and has developed her grief program to provide relief and hope for those grieving a loss. Her unique approach encompasses utilizing the dynamic tools that she knows from experience do work.
Audrey speaks to corporations on the subject of Grief in the Workplace: How to Support Employees Returning to Work After a Loss and provides training for managers, human resources and co-workers. In addition she works with clients one-on-one and provides group telephone programs on Grief Recovery and Healthy Living After Loss. You can see her upcoming programs at www.wisewidow.com.

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