It’s Your Responsibility To Take Care of YOU!

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Written by Faith Saunders

It’s time to face the fact that only you are responsible for your health and wellness. It’s time to take care of yourself with not making any excuses.

It’s time to face the fact that only you are responsible for your health and wellness. It’s time to take care of yourself with not making any excuses.

Personal responsibilityI was asked to speak at an event and during my phone conversation with the person who was coordinating it, she asked, “Are you going to speak about how overworked and undervalued we are?” I could not help but smile because I knew just then that I had a topic I had to write about!

I hear women make the following statements over and over again:

“It’s like he (husband or significant other) and/or they (children) cannot do a thing for themselves! I have to do everything!”

“Can you imagine this, he (husband, significant other) and/or they (children or family ) ate and left the dirty dishes on the table and I had to take it up and wash them! I am so tired of this! They take me for granted!”

“It is my ____________________ (insert occasion – birthday, anniversary etc.) and everyone went along their merry way and didn’t say a word! They don’t appreciate me!

Enough said, get the picture? It’s very painful to give and receive nothing in return. Of course, that is not the reason you do what you do but acknowledgment or a simple heart-felt ‘thank you’ now and again goes a long way!

What I am about to say may sound strange but it is okay to feel this way – you are  human! I say this because so often I sense a tinge of guilt when the above or similar statements are made.

So now that it’s out there – real or perceived – this is how you feel and it is important! What are YOU going to do about it?

Truth be told…

  • YOU are responsible for your own happiness.
  • YOU teach people how to treat you.
  • YOU deserve to be treated with dignity and respect!

Again, I ask, “What are YOU going to do about it?”

Only you can fix the problem. The following are some tips to help you do so.

  1.  You are worthy: You have to believe that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Remember that each of us teach people how to treat us. Think about it! What message have you been sending?
  2. What do you want? You need to know what it is that  you want so that you will know it when it shows up  and  are able  ask for what you want. Ladies, sometimes we do not remember that other people are not mind readers. Write a detailed list of the things that you want from others. For instance, don’t just write ‘I wanted to be treated with respect.” Instead write (say), “So I would like my significant other to eat dinner with the rest of the family on Sundays instead of in front of the TV. Get it, either the person does or doesn’t. What reflects respect to you may not be the same for someone else.
  3. Let go! We must be willing to let go and allow others to help. I must admit that this is one area that I am consciously working on. I have come a long… way but still working on this. Many of us – me included – have a Super Woman attitude – I alone can do things correctly. This perfectionist attitude dissuade others from wanting to do things for us because we are always fixing things. Face it, the world won’t end if the towels aren’t hung in a certain way or if the dishes were washed but the counter top wasn’t wiped down!

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?

I have accepted that what happens in my life is my responsibility.  Of course, many things are out of my control but how I response is always in my control. It took time, for me to realize that I am not a victim.  

What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

I appreciate that I am a thinker. Always mulling things over in my mind – looking for meaning or a lesson.  

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

 One of the most rewarding achievements in my life is that of helping others in my coaching practice to realize their goals. To create a program that assist under-served women to uncover their potential.

What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

I get overwhelmed with minute details.  

How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”  

I love my PEOPLE!

About the author

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Faith Saunders

Faith has a Master’s Degree in Psychiatric Rehabilitation from UMDNJ and have over 18 years experience working in various capacities – training, coaching, project development, etc. – with many groups, including women in recovery, teenage mothers, youths and adults with emotional challenges.

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