It doesn’t only sadden me, it breaks my heart to see beautiful intelligent women who had a magnificent past, full of struggles and triumphs, with capabilities that would have taken them around the world, to choose to give up on who they once were and just “go” with reality. Read on and learn to cling to who you really are with contributor Aya Radwan.
I haven’t been at my new job much, just completed my 6 months training period. My not-so-long experiences at work can make what I want to say a bit of an understatement but from what I saw so far, work will make you cling more to who you really are. Sure, you will be facing many situations that will drive you to act in a way different from who you really are, like stopping someone from crossing your limits, or prying into your private business, imposing their opinion on you or interfering in your work. Most of my time at work I’m just silent, not out of fear but to observe the characters around me, when I do talk I try to keep it to the minimum unless someone pushes the wrong button, then I can have a very stinging tongue.
Anyways, one of the most prominent annoying habits of work colleagues, young or old, is the whole match-making issue. Which I was lucky enough to write about before, in a previous piece called Stop Stripping Away Our Dignity. In short, they make all the female employees feel as if they were running low on time to find someone good to settle down with so they keep trying to hook them up. It happened to me, it happened to my friends who work in the same place as I do and to the ones who work in other places as well. The point is not to let it affect you, what they do or say because what matters is who you are not who they are portraying you to be. A lost girl with no life since she doesn’t have a partner!
And that’s it, I’m one of the latest girls from my group of friends to find work, though even before starting it I noticed that many of my friends who’ve been working for some time have changed into modern day Bridget Joneses. All they thought about was losing weight if they thought they gained any and the lack of suitable guys to choose a partner from. It struck me, each one of these girls had unique personalities, specific characteristics and a multitude of activities that made them busy all year around during college. Now, they are what you can easily call ‘lifeless’. They are breathing, their vitals are stable for the average human being, they function with the society in harmony but there’s only one thought that fills their minds. Commitment!
I get it, some people just know when they are ready to commit and settle down. Though that ought to be a personal decision, not one enforced on you by family nor society. My friends might have seemed like they owned the world back in college, now they stopped living, and threw everything else that they were out into the ocean. Sure, our society has always been cruel with women, work places are no different, but I know that if someone is pushing me to think that there’s no future for me because I’m single it’s all the more reason to make stubborn enough and stay that way!
Even if I’d decided to commit, I should have my own life first, my hobbies, my routine, my time-table and my choices which make my life-song more personalized and unique. Before I ought to commit I have to be sure of who I am, someone who won’t just change at the flutter of eyelashes, someone independent, courageous enough to take on my life on my own, I have to be able to depend on myself before I allow others to depend on me.
It doesn’t only sadden me, it breaks my heart to see beautiful intelligent women who had a magnificent past, full of struggles and triumphs, with capabilities that would have taken them around the world, to choose to give up on who they once were and just “go” with reality. Reality is there slapping all of us in the faces every morning, but it’s those who choose to lift their heads up, muster whatever strength they could to put on their dancing shoes and face the music that make it through and have all they wanted!
Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.
What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?
That I’m different from others, clinging to yourself can be hard at times specially when it clashes with the perceptions of the society and those around you. Being yourself is what makes each one of us unique, we each have a unique set of fingerprints because we are supposed to be different, affect each other and learn how to get along with harmony.
What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?
I appreciate the ability to be myself, every day I get criticized for thinking a tad differently from those around me and I just don’t care.
What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?
Over a month ago, I promised myself to finish a book a week and right now I’m very appreciative of being able to stick to that promise. I plan on keeping on and achieve the record of most read books, at least for myself, in a year.
What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your identity?
Sometimes when I know there’s an important piece of advice that I should follow, I take advantage of the first opportunity I get and voice it. When I hear myself talking to others about it, somehow it makes that bit of advice more real and follow-able!
How would you complete the phrase “I love my___”?
I love my determination. I put small goals in mind and set onto achieving them which gives me regular amounts of motivation to get on to the next goal and get on with it.
