Yes, I’m Seeing Someone: Me

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Written by Jennifer Harbaugh

Are you single? Do people constantly ask you your age and then a follow question about your dating situation?

Are you single? Do people constantly ask you your age and then a follow question about your dating situation?

I don’t know about you, but when I tell someone my age, they ask me whether I am seeing someone or actively dating. No and no. My friends think I am either afraid of commitment or studying way too much (my loans can vouch for that).

I know I am not alone in getting constant pressure to be with someone. I often wonder if others think I should date because they think I’m lonely or because they don’t want me to bother them anymore to hang out since they have their own lives to run. An optimistic side of me wants to think that they just feel that I deserve someone to love me and take care of me.

I’m in my late 20s, and all I can think about right now is finding out who I am, being healthy, and creating the life I’ve fantasized of having. For the past 27 years, I haven’t created a relationship with myself, so why do I need someone to date?

One thing I have learned about dating or being in a relationship: know yourself first then you’ll know what you want in a life partner. If I don’t know what I want then I’ll become a serial dater and be miserable, like Carrie in the television series Sex and the City until she met her Mr. Big. Even if Mr. Big was the one for her, it took her years to finally get him. I can’t imagine finding someone I knew who was right for me, but with the wrong timing. Then I would have to let that person go and endure all that heartbreak, not knowing when our paths will cross again.

So for now, I’m exclusively dating myself, knowing that this is one relationship that will not fall into Facebook’s status: “It’s Complicated” or “Single. No, this is mine.

The next time someone asks you about your romantic life, tell them you are seeing someone — you. It will be the best relationship you’ll ever have in your life.

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? What are you still working on accepting?

It took me a while to finally accept that I’m different from everyone else and I should not adapt myself to the society norms. So what if I am not thin? As long I am living a healthy lifestyle. So what if I don’t want to wear a dress and heels? As long I have clothes to wear everyday. I should be living the life I want, not the life the people want me to live.

What have you learn to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? What are you still working on to appreciate?

I have learned to appreciate the opportunities that I have been given to reconnect with myself. With many years of school behind me and I’m still in school– it’s not that easy to create some time with MYSELF. I cherish the moments I can connect with the nature, because my soul lives on the existence of nature everyday and everywhere. I am still working on appreciating MYSELF. I am my own worst critic and constantly tell myself I have room for improvement.

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What makes YOU most proud? What goals and dreams do you still have?

My most rewarding achievement is that I exceeded everyone’s expectations of what a Deaf person can do. I have many goals, still…but, if I have to pick one goal and that is educating the world about the most important things in life.

We all have imperfections, so we think. The truth–we are all perfectly imperfect. What are your not-so-perfect ways? What imperfections and quirks create who you are–your Identity?

Being realistic is my “not-so-perfect way”, probably the reason why I don’t take risks even though my heart wants me to. My imperfections are: biting my nails and being stressed over little things.

“I Love My…” is an outlet for you to express and appreciate all the positive traits that make you…well… YOU! Sharing what you love about yourself will make you smile, feel empowered, and uplift your spirit and soul. (we assure you!)

Identity challenges you to complete the phrase “I Love My…?

I love the passion that is constantly growing in me, to change the world, an article at a time.

About the author

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Jennifer Harbaugh

Jennifer Harbaugh's passion of reading and writing started when she was a junior at Maryland School for the Deaf. She got her BA in English from Pennsylvania State University in 2008, and a MFA in Dramatic Writing from Goddard College in 2014. She just returned to graduate school, McDaniel College, for the second time to get a MS in Deaf Education after falling in love with teaching.

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