7 Friendship Ingredients to Implement in Marriage

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Written by Karen Budzinski

Remember to be friends with your spouse because we have 7 ingredients that are highly valuable in our spousal relationships.

Remember to be friends with your spouse because we have 7 ingredients that are highly valuable in our spousal relationships.

Relationship problems occur because we do for our spouse what our individual preferences and desires would be, rather than what is important for them. Sometimes, basic qualities that contribute to good friendships — sacrifice for each other and appreciating each other — also go by the wayside in our marriages.

Healthy friendships avoid pitfalls that often our spousal relationships fall into. Below are 7 of the top ingredients that catapult friendships and are highly valuable in our spousal relationships.

> Be a person of true understanding and listen when the other person needs to work through something.

> Be someone who will enjoy doing things the other likes to do alongside them. Sometimes just go somewhere because your spouse is going, just to be with them. Take an active interest in the things your spouse does.

Look beyond the surface
> Be a spouse who will look beyond words to determine any “behind the scenes” information being communicated by the other; when you have a hunch that there are things going on that aren’t being communicated, patiently encourage your spouse to bring these feelings out by listening, watching, and asking questions.

> Be loyal to your spouse. Don’t ever speak badly about your spouse; if you do, it says more about who you are than who they aren’t.

> Be a spouse who will not only listen, but who is willing to share his or her feelings with the other. Consciously let them into your world: it takes time and words.

Voice your opinion
> Be a spouse who has more value than a potted plant: while valuing and considering my opinion, have the courage to voice and retain your own!

> Challenge your spouse to be a better person (be a “plus” sign).

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? What are you still working on accepting?

I have accepted that I can not do or be everything I wish I could, but I can do and be all that I am. In accepting that I don’t have to be more than I am, I can refuse to be less than I am.

What have you learn to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? What are you still working on to appreciate?

I appreciate my moments and cherish each one of them as valuable, even if not all of them are easy. I am working on appreciating my limitations of time that prohibit me from accomplishing all I would like to.

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What makes YOU most proud? What goals and dreams do you still have?

One of the most rewarding achievements in my life is my life work of helping others build stronger relationships, resulting in writing the principles I lived by into a book on relationships. What makes me most proud are my five adult children, their spouses, and my grandchildren, and what they are doing to positively change and impact the world.

We all have imperfections, so we think. The truth–we are all perfectly imperfect. What are your not-so-perfect ways? What imperfections and quirks create who you are–your Identity?

One “not-so-perfect” way of mine that I have learned to make work for me instead of against me is that I get excited and hyped up easily. A not-so-perfect way about me is I get involved in multitudes of projects contemporaneously. Some of the imperfections and quirks that create who I am could be my quirky mannerisms and sense of humor.

“I Love My…” is an outlet for you to express and appreciate all the positive traits that make you…well… YOU! Sharing what you love about yourself will make you smile, feel empowered, and uplift your spirit and soul. (we assure you!)

Identity challenges you to complete the phrase “I Love My…?

 I love my God, my husband, my family, and my life. I love my opportunities. I love my nation and my world. I love my passion and my energy.

About the author

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Karen Budzinski

Karen Budzinski is the author of the just-released title, How to Build an Enduring Marriage, a book she wrote after years of studying relationships and teaching her signature class, Building Better Relationships. In 1981, Karen taught her first class, helping folks strengthen their relationships; she did not realize at the time that the rest of her life’s work would be dedicated to helping others build better relationships. Her book contains a wealth of information that has benefited an inestimable number of people. Karen’s experience in teaching and counseling has crossed ages from birth to seniors, as itinerated on her website: www.karenbudzinski.com. Her book, How to Build an Enduring Marriage, can be used individually or in any community group to help strengthen relationships. Karen and her husband Gary reside in Michigan; their family has grown to include five adult children, their spouses, three granddaughters and a grandson.

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