Why Losing Actually Makes You a Winner

Avatar photo
Written by Michele Wroblewski

All insecurities manifest themselves through the power that silence brings. It allows for the fill of past experiences to intrude and misconstrue the life you are now living.

I bite my tongue with all the words I want to say,  Just being next to you at times takes my breath away.  But yet I say to you, go after whatever you’re seeking in life; I hope you find it too,  And for now I’ll just say, I’ll be seeing you.

All insecurities manifest themselves through the power that silence brings. It allows for the fill of past experiences to intrude and misconstrue the life you are now living.

You left behind the past, remember that each time you begin to compare to the life you are living in now. Change the way you live by stepping out of your comfort zone, out of the shadow of fear. Step into the light and choose to express yourself. For it will always be better to say more, than to say nothing at all.

You may discover that by being yourself, you may not exactly get what you want, but you will be one step closer to discovering and learning about who you are, or about who you want to be. Be fearless, and live out loud. The only thing you will ever have to lose is fear.

So step out of the shadow of fear and live in the center of your own spotlight. You may find that expression may lead to struggle or conflict or you may just find, it’s the start to a new life. Sometimes the unknown really is the only thing you need to know, and all I know is that I am here, right now, and the thoughts in my head have never been such a beautiful sound.

So repel superstition, obliterate lies, and never compromise, these are the keys to opening the locks to life. Because before we know it, time will pass us by. And moments? They can vanish so very fast. Struggles are temporary, hard ships are temporary, but life? Well that’s temporary as well. Never take for granted each day you are gifted on this earth. Live for the now; live for today. Always.

Stop being afraid of discovering the truth.

Stop being afraid of discovering the truth.


I live in a world in my head, where a life is misread, and the dreams are slow to follow.

I live in the days where the pain remains, and I struggle to find truth, in this life that I know right now, in the life that remains.
I have to say it’s not hard to feel, but I seem to find it is.
I seem to find the pieces glued to the clues I seemed to miss.
Oh wasn’t there once a time when there was nothing but fear to fear?
Now it seems that every time I’m near moving past the burns and scars, I still cannot bear to part from the twisted life I knew.
Why can’t I erase what’s passed, I thought, as I beared these realized truths.
Then I finally looked up, as I turned my soul inside out, and renewed.
That was the moment that I laid my eyes upon you.

She dared to dream..

She dared to dream..

But now you’re here in front of me and I don’t know what to do.
I write my thoughts try to clear my head, but my words provide the proof.
I didn’t want to feel this longing all too soon.
But it happened now I see that my feelings are mocking me.
And this confusion stems, from the scars that I still mend.
Yet it seems you’ve found a place in my mind.
And even if I tried, I can’t seem to lie, to myself.
The cards were dealt and here remains a feeling that’s been screaming to be felt.
And now that it is here, it seems there is so much more to fear.

Answers are sometimes written in the stars.

Answers are sometimes written in the stars.

I can write a novel about the time we gazed upon the stars.
My fears were drowned by the comfort of your arms.
It wasn’t the sky that brightened that night, but the twinge inside, that transpired in spite, of the reality that we will soon be facing. I didn’t want to feel it but I couldn’t stop it even if I tried.
I was captured by the magic of that night, that I can’t seem to look past, the beauty found in your eyes.
Oh how they shine, engrained within my mind.
The moment I touched you it was then I didn’t want to let go anytime soon.
Oh how we were trapped in a world that we did not fear the unknown, but as time passes it seems that I fight my mind’s habit of turning it to pain, oh how I wish I could go back to that night and escape all of the doubts and erase the mess I am beginning to make.
Oh if I could just erase the thoughts driving me insane, caused by the fear of losing something that just began.
So I stand here, with my hands in the air, wondering what to do.

Never stop being vulnerable.

Never stop being vulnerable.

For it seems I am trapped in time until I discover the truth.
Instead of seeing time as stopped, why don’t we cherish seconds? Live in minutes and bask in hours until our souls let in, what was not welcomed long ago.
Why not enjoy this halt in life, to take it one step at a time, to truly realize that maybe we are right where we need to be, for it’s not the outcome that leads to happiness, but the road and memories that it took, to get there, to be truly seen.

We may not know if it’s the right road to take, but if you never go down the path you would like to create and unfold what you no longer can discern in your own wave length, you will never discover the most powerful influences to life’s transpiring: the freedom to choose and decide that it may just be the time to pursue your wants, it’s time to be brave.

And now I can’t imagine giving up, before we’ve even tried.
And I can’t believe you’re leaving now, when it feels so good to be by your side.
I hope you know how hard it is, for me to speak my mind.
But if I have to let you go, I want you to know, you’ve touched my life.

It hit me like a rain drop in a sunny sky.
Or like a shooting star on a cloudy night.
I didn’t want to feel it but I was taken by surprise.
But if you want to say goodbye, I just want you to know I still want to try.

Never let the fear of failure stop you from being 120% you.

Never let the fear of failure stop you from being 120% you.

Stars may light the night sky,
But you were the only light that seemed to catch my eye.
So now I can’t seem to let you go without telling you what I’ve come to know.
That when you come across a diamond in the rough, you’ve got to pick it up.
And when you go after what you want, that’s when you find your luck.
But life has this funny way of displacing what you know.
If you hide from how you feel, how can you expect anything to grow?

Now is the time to choose to dance instead of crying in the rain. And once you’ve done all you can, realize what may come from that action is now out of your hands. That was the day you learned to stand.

And just like that, all is felt,  then all is dead and gone. You lose what you thought  made you be able  to feel again, and you begin to move on.

You are still left standing.

That is the moment that you realize that your source of joy was never truly found in the brief collision with another.   You had it all along, inside.

You had the key to open your lock all along.

You had the key to open your lock all along.

So say goodbye to those you find don’t see you in the light that you see them, and you see yourself in. That is how you will make room for the ultimate happiness: your spiritual master.

You may have lost what you thought you wanted, but ladies I say to you: do not waste a tear on anyone who does not see your worth. If someone reaches for the door, allow them to open it, walk across the threshold, and lock it behind them.   For even though passion is blinding, consuming, and magical, it can and will be felt again.  That moment, you will thank your past self for giving the chance to find your more.

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? What are you still working on accepting?

I have accepted that  you will not always get what you want…at the time.   However, not getting what you want makes you open to receiving more than you even thought possible…and that’s a beautiful thing.  

What have you learn to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? What are you still working on to appreciate?

I have learned to appreciate the ones who never leave my side.  

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What makes YOU most proud? What goals and dreams do you still have?

My goal is to continue to inspire others through my story.   I will never hide in shame because of where I came from.   I remain truthful in both my writing and in my every day life.  

We all have imperfections, so we think. The truth–we are all perfectly imperfect. What are your not-so-perfect ways? What imperfections and quirks create who you are–your Identity?

I am very passionate and I know exactly what I want from life, which can be both a blessing and a curse.   However, what I say to my past experiences, relationships, and others who have helped me gain my strength the hard way: if you can’t handle the fire, then stay out of the kitchen. 😉

“I Love My…” is an outlet for you to express and appreciate all the positive traits that make you…well… YOU! Sharing what you love about yourself will make you smile, feel empowered, and uplift your spirit and soul. (we assure you!)

Identity challenges you to complete the phrase “I Love My…?

I love my confidence and my fearless ability to take chances. I have faith that one day, it will give me the ability to rule my world.


About the author

Avatar photo

Michele Wroblewski

Michele Wroblewski is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist working as an outpatient clinical dietitian at Caruso Physical Therapy and Nutrition in Allentown, NJ, as well as a health coach for a virtual lifestyle change program with a weight loss component. Michele’s passion in life is to help people help themselves. She is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist granted by the Commission of Dietetic Registration, and is currently a member of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. She is a Summa Cum Laude graduate with a Bachelor’s of Science, majoring in Nutrition and Dietetics from Marywood University in 2014, where she received the Norman T. Shaffer Medal for Nutrition upon graduation. Michele graduated from the Coordinated Program at Marywood University, where she completed her Dietetic Internship at various locations throughout the state of Pennsylvania. She is a member of both the honor society of her graduating class, Delta Epsilon Sigma, and the National Dietetic Honor’s Society, Kappa Omicron Nu. Michele provides medical nutrition therapy for chronic and acute disease states and weight loss counseling for all ages. Michele has worked as a public health nutritionist, with concentrations in maternal, child, and infant nutrition, clinical nutrition, as well as general wellness, fitness, and sports nutrition. She believes in an individualized approach to achieving wellness goals and feels it is a combination of body, mind, and spirit that creates overall health. She is also a Zumba Basic I, Zumba Toning, Strong by Zumba, Zumba Kids & Zumba Kids Jr. Instructor, and a ZIN Network Member since 2011. Michele is also an AFAA Certified Group Fitness Instructor. In addition to performing for local yoga classes, town fairs, and charity events, she has performed original speeches with poetry/music at the "Bold Her Conference" Summer 2014, and at "Biz 360 Conference" in Fairfield, NJ Fall 2014, and “Identity Live” Conference in June 2016. Her primary goal for life is to inspire others as much as they inspire her. It is with hard work, dedication, and passion that one can overcome any obstacle in life. She aims to show people that although painstaking to endure, challenges faced in life should be received in gratitude, for they produce the powerful product of a strong, independent, and self confident individual that is prepared to face the world.