Why & How to Say “I Can” over “I Can’t”

Why & How to Say "I Can" over "I Can't"
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Written by Kirra Sherman

There is a choice you make in any moment of opportunity, where you feel inspired. You can either move towards what moves you, or you can say no.

There is a choice you make in any moment of opportunity, where you feel inspired. You can either move towards what moves you, or you can say no.

Some people achieve their dreams; others make up stories for why they cannot.

There is a choice you make in any moment of opportunity, where you feel inspired. You can either move towards what moves you, or you can say no.

You can either do that thing you don’t think is possible anyway, or you can tell yourself why it’s not possible, why you can’t do it. Where you fail is when you allow your circumstance (a perceived hurdle) to get in the way of what you love.

You’ve probably experienced both.

There are three ways you can respond to a desire.

1. Consider a time when you’ve felt moved to do something and you did it. It could have been to fall in love when you didn’t think that person would be possible to have, or go on vacation when you didn’t have the funds, or buy something that costs more than your average purchase, or start a business you didn’t know how to start or may not be qualified for, but you simply decided that you were doing it.

The power of decision is more powerful than you may realize.

Somehow, your story and circumstances changed and allowed you to do that thing you felt inspired by.

2. Consider a time when you really would have loved to do something, but rather than following that feeling, you told yourself, or the people around you, why you couldn’t.

It probably sounded like one of the following: “I don’t have the money… I don’t have the time… But last time I did this, it failed… I’m afraid… I just can’t go through this again if it doesn’t work out… I have kids…   I don’t know how… I can’t… I have a job… I don’t have a job… How would I manage?… I’m too old… I’m too young… It just isn’t possible.”

3. Now remember an experience when you didn’t have enough space or possibility to even dream or wonder, you didn’t think, you just said no at the outset.

The problem:

Reality is as you define it. You set your own life parameters depending on the game you want to play. You may think that you need to believe in yourself, or need the resources before making a decision, but you don’t.

The key is Intuition. When you use Intuition, the resources, ideas and creativity that will allow the end result to manifest come as a result of saying yes to the feeling of possibilities.

The Solution:

Follow your feeling of inspiration, step-by-step and allow your intuition and creativity to guide you to effortless possibilities. The first thing you need to realize is that life can be more of a game that’s fun when you play the game of life as if it is one.

Imagine that your dreams were meant to become your reality, that each dream is like a game that you can play to experience in this life. A dream can be a business, or it can be having children, or buying a house, or a career, or anything that drives you from a desire within you.

You just become aware you love to experience something, and then you take steps towards it, sometimes very slowly.

If you are making up stories for why you can’t do what you desire, they will sound something like this: “In my past, I failed… I was abused… I’m surrounded by negative people… I don’t believe in myself… I have to take care of someone in my family… I have a disease… I am too ugly… I am too pretty… It’s because of my past lives…”

It’s not that these challenges in the story aren’t real; the lie is not that there is a story; the lie is that the story of you or your past is bigger than your dreams or desires.

The truth is that you can overcome your stories and live your dreams, if you choose to.

I once overheard an interview where a woman did a study interviewing in particular women CEO’s of companies and asked them if they believe in themselves. She discovered that women CEO’s experience the same doubts and hear thoughts of “I can’t” in their own minds, it’s just that they are willing to do what they desire anyway.

People who realize their dreams are the ones that move towards their dreams despite their doubts, fears, or thoughts speaking of limitation.

The only thing you need to change your life circumstances is to put aside your stories, and ask yourself if you are willing. And it’s ok if the answer is sometimes no. That just means that your dream isn’t really your dream, or you haven’t gotten to the point of “enough is enough” where willingness comes naturally to you.

Who I am to say any of this? I’m someone with a past story, like everyone else. My past stories include disbelief in myself and failure. When I started my first business, I didn’t believe it was really possible. I’ve failed before and I’ve also succeeded.

But I’ve learned that neither of those experiences of success or failure define me and I’m open to both.

And it’s no big deal. I am no one special, but what’s special about my life experience is that I follow that feeling of inspiration inside of me that’s also inside of you.

Your challenges will be different as your life story is different, but that feeling that moves you inside has the power, no matter how challenging your circumstances may appear.

But don’t take my word for it. Overcoming your story is the road less traveled. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

You can tell yourself why something is not possible, or you rise above your stories and choose the feeling that moves you to your dreams.

For a FREE Guided Meditation, click here

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

1. What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? What are you still working on accepting?

Myself. Little by little I’ve learned to see my self through the eyes of love and find the perfection of life by embracing my humanity. I’ve accepting that everything I’ve experienced in my life has supported me to expand into my truth.

2. What have you learn to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? What are you still working on to appreciate?

I appreciate that no matter what challenges I’ve faced, I’ve decided to take the road less traveled and appreciate everything that has ever happened in my life because every event has brought me to exploring the aliveness of life itself.

3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What makes YOU most proud? What goals and dreams do you still have?

When I first left my corporate job, it was my most rewarding achievement because I was so afraid of leaving the security I believed it gave me (at the time) and so taking that leap led me to a path of becoming an entrepreneur and following my heart wherever it may lead.

My biggest goal right now is finish a book I’ve been writing.

4. We all have imperfections, so we think. The truth–we are all perfectly imperfect. What are your not-so-perfect ways? What imperfections and quirks create who you are–your Identity?

I don’t believe in a “not-so-perfect-way” because everything can be turned into a life lesson. However, I sometimes do the opposite of what may be perceived to be “the right thing to do” that I have a judgment for. i.e. If I have judgment for licking my fingers as the dinner table, or something that isn’t the “spiritual” thing to do, I transform my own judgment by going into the behavior that’s “wrong” consciously to overcome it. Rather than resisting the behavior, I own it.

Quirky — my whole personality feels really quirky. I actually like cleaning, and I have been known to sometimes watch certain movies over 15 times (possibly upwards of 30).

5. “I Love My…” is an outlet for you to express and appreciate all the positive traits that make you…well… YOU! Sharing what you love about yourself will make you smile, feel empowered, and uplift your spirit and soul. (we assure you!) Identity challenges you to complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

Humor. There are few things I love more than to laugh, and I’m pretty funny. A friend and I joked how it could sound arrogant, but we love our humor so much that if you don’t think we’re funny, you need to work on your humor! Just kidding, kind of… =)



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About the author

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Kirra Sherman

Kirra Sherman shares writings & facilitates transformational groups in LA & NYC to support others in experiencing more freedom, expression of creativity, flow in your life, and authenticity. She works closely with her mentor Amir Zoghi in sharing the keys to living unimaginable possibilities through Intuition. Do you want to know The Truth about Finding Happiness FREE? CLICK HERE to download: http://amirzoghi.com/Happiness