Resistance and Susan Jacobs were going steady for way too long. Â It was an unhealthy and unproductive relationship which only left her feeling like crap.
As it’s been said, we exert more energy Â putting off doing something than what is actually expended to get it done. Â The act of doing nothing drains us more than forward-moving action.
As Steven Pressfield says in his great book, “Do The Work,” ‘Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.Â Resistance will reason with you like a lawyer or jam a nine-millimeter in your face like a stickup man.’
Once upon a time when things went south with anÂ Â emotionally and verbally abusive ex-boyfriend,Â I’d say,Â “There’s a new sheriff in town.” Â As he was trying to gaslight me, which made me think I was going crazy,Â this was my passive-aggressive way of letting him know that I could, and was, changing.
Repeatedly slipping into Pollyanna mode, I chose to only see and remember the positive in any given moment. Like an abused dog that flinches when a hand is raised, receiving his version of love and acknowledgment overpowered the painful memory of the abuse he inflicted. Â This was myÂ desperate attempt to hold onto the nonsense thatÂ I mistook for love. Â If he thought I could change, thenÂ I convinced myself things would get better.
Guess what? That was kinda delusional. Â In a perpetual state of resistance to reality, the act of resistance was holding me as its bitch. Â As it loves to do, resistance only keeps us locked in a cell, imprisoned by our fears, doubts, insecurities, and inertia.Â The sheriff has the keys and can just as easily open the cell door as keep it closed. Itâ€™s all up to us.
My relationship thankfully ran its course, leaving me with long-healed emotional scars and many lessons learned. As clichÃ© as it is, 20/20 hindsight is a beautiful and true thing.
But I do love the concept and energy behind â€˜a new sheriff in town.â€™ It commands authority, leadership, strength, presence, power, respect, and abiding by the rules (although I more often like to break them). Â This idea recently popped back into my head as I went to reset the 6:00 a.m. alarm but didnâ€™t.Â Instead, I completed my intention of a taking 7:00am yoga class.Â And felt great as a result.
Allowing my old sheriff any power will be my demise, and a fast sinkhole into laziness, self-doubt, procrastination, and overall un-productivity.Â My new sheriff, however, sticks to commitments, gets out of my way, is focused on goals, completes tasks, does one thing at a time, is free of device addiction, and so much more.Â This sheriff is helping me create more productive habits and let the old ones go.
Howâ€™s your sheriff working out?
Are you looking to make changes in any area of your life where youâ€™ve felt stuck, frustrated, and without clear direction?
If so, how can you enlist a new sheriff to break through the blocks?
Call upon this energy to set clear goals that include intention, deadline, and measurability, focus on what behavior no longer serves you and where you want to go personally, professionally, and spiritually, and find someone to be accountable to.Â Then gracefully and gently embrace the magic that no doubt will begin to unfold.
Let â€˜thereâ€™s a new sheriff in townâ€™ become your mantra.Â Say it out loud with a smile as often as needed.Â And when in doubt, rent Mel Brooksâ€™ â€œBlazing Saddlesâ€ and see how that new sheriff turned a town upside down, disrupting the predictable, and implementing positive change.
Itâ€™s time kick some ass!
I’d love to hear from you about what yourÂ sheriff looks like — the old and new versions. Â And if this article resonated with you, please share on Facebook and Twitter.
Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all Aâ€™s in the game of life â€“ Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.â„¢ Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. Their answers can be random and in the moment or they can be aligned with the above article. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all Aâ€™s.
1. What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? What are you still working on accepting?
I’ve accepted that the older I get, the less I know! Â I’m accepting more the concept of surrendering to how things turn out, while still remaining in integrity with myself.Â I’ve accepted that I will be a work-in-progress until the end. Â Speaking with my mom who is 86 and my aunt who is 80 — they’re both still going through a lot of the emotional stuff that I thought would be long gone. Â So, I accept that evolution continues until death!
2. What have you learn to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? What are you still working on to appreciate?
I appreciate myÂ ability to manifest yet still haven’tÂ owned it. I appreciate all that’s brought me to where I am. I’m still working on appreciating the magnificence of all that I am capable of!
3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What makes YOU most proud? What goals and dreams do you still have?
Being an inspiration to others. Â To be an example of what’s possible through my numerous reinventions.Â Goals and dreams â€” to become a best-selling New York Times author, to inspire and empower women around the world to speak and live their truth through sharing my stories and giving voice to otherâ€™s stories that matter. Â This is an ongoing work-in-progress so am excited to see how it continues to unfold.
4. We all have imperfections, so we think. The truthâ€”we are all perfectly imperfect. What are your not-so-perfect ways? What imperfections and quirks create who you areâ€”your Identity?
Self-criticism and self-doubt. Â OhÂ wait, those are kind of the same thing! Comparing myself to others and then slipping into insecurity. All aspects of me create who I am. The ability to Â learn, change,Â grow, maintain a sense of humor and faith are also part of my identity.
5. â€œI Love Myâ€¦â€ is an outlet for you to express and appreciate all the positive traits that make youâ€¦wellâ€¦ YOU! Sharing what you love about yourself will make you smile, feel empowered, and uplift your spirit and soul. (we assure you!) Identity challenges you to complete the phrase â€œI Love Myâ€¦?â€
The answer is always the same: my salsa dancing and Kundalini yoga practice. Â They both keep me sane, lift me up, provide a safe place for me to let go of all stress, Â find answers, and be around a great community of people and dear friends.