Stop Trying to be Like Someone Else

Alissa Okrent
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Written by Alissa Okrent

Answering these questions cracked the shell and allowed me to really listen to my own voice, which said: “stop trying to be like someone else.”

As the season changes, I ponder this question: “Are you trying to be someone else’s vision of yourself?”

I recently participated in an amazing 2-day transformational workshop called “Voicing Your Vision”, given by Jennifer Urezzio and Lorraine Ferro. Appropriately, just prior to beginning our adventure, I had my own “a-ha” moment: a powerful realization that in one area of my business, I was trying to resemble other peoples’ success model, thinking it would work for me. As it turned out, it was a huge flop!

I noticed that immediately upon owning my error in personal judgment, I experienced a veil lifting, my heart opening, and a weight lifted from my shoulders. Of course, my initial response was deep judgment and a strong sense of “not enough-ness”. My body felt tight, tense and rigid, as I tried to distract myself and ignore this awareness. Then, I remembered what I had been taught and I thought to myself: “What would Jen do?”, and I asked myself these questions:

[Tweet “Stop Trying to be Like Someone Else w/these 3 questions “]

– What can I let go of right now?
– What can I accept about myself?
– Where can I allow compassion to fill me right now?

Answering these questions cracked the shell and allowed me to really listen to my own voice, which said: “stop trying to be like someone else.”

There are times as humans, we get too good at covering up our pain and anger that it sits inside like a comfortable rock, just enough weight to hold us steady, yet not too much to create stagnation. Then an opportunity comes along to shake, crack, release or let go. “Voicing Your Vision” was that experience for me.

As I realized my truth, pride softened and tears flooded my eyes, opening a path for pain and anger to flow out and strength and courage to preside. Gratefully, the group was supportive, loving and caring. Each of us held the necessary space for one another. I felt safe, secure, and capable of discovering a new truth and listening to my inner voice.

This is an example of one way I experience appreciation for my ability to dance between comfort and courage I had a deep awareness of how much better it feels to be vulnerable and ease into a nice soft “hug” of acceptance.

I believe these experiences in our lives, are an opportunity to grow. As a leader and personal empowerment specialist, it is imperative for me to continue to clear my own path, enabling me to mentor and guide others through theirs with joy and ease.

Even though I am feeling a bit raw at this moment, it is the authentic truth which allows me to live more in line with who I am, appreciate the good in myself, and help others feel calm, clear and focused.

I offer Namaste to all my fellow travelers and the blessing of hearing our inner voice, trusting our inner wisdom, and living in truth and love.

Identity Magazine is all about empowering women to get all A’s in the game of life — Accept. Appreciate. Achieve.TM Every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. As a team, we hope to inspire and motivate ourselves and inspire you to get all A’s.

What have you accepted in your life that took time, physically or mentally?

I am accepting that my perception of my family changes as I change. What seemed so simple, direct and true, takes on a different perspective as I mature and experience my own “a ha” moments that shift my life.

What do you appreciate about yourself and within your life?

I appreciate that I am a leader, visionary, and a joyfilled person, who loves to experience all aspects of relationships from the quiet moments to the hilarious, spontaneous laughter that arrives when I let go and enjoy the ride!

What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? What goals do you still have?

One of my most rewarding achievements continue to be the relationship that I have with my daughter, 23, and my son, 26. The open conversations, ability to simply laugh with each other and share expands as our lives continue. To receive from them, is truly a life opening experience.

What is your not-so-perfect way? What imperfections and quirks create your Identity?

One of my imperfections and quirks which creates part of my identity is “feeling the energy” of what is happening around me. Regardless of what the person activity is — I “feel it”; from choosing my clothes, to placing items around my home, to shopping at the market. There are times when I laugh with myself, more often than not, I just go with it!

How would you complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

I love my beautifully new pedicure. When I look down at my gorgeous pink toes with their simple design, I just smile. A personal mark of appreciating even the little things in my day.

About the author

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Alissa Okrent

Alissa has 25 years of experience as a fitness and wellness professional. She received a BCC credential in Life Coaching, a certified fitness trainer through American Council on Exercise since 1987 and most recently has completed her Master Certification as a Soul Language Practitioner. Through her own life’s journey, Alissa has evolved a passion and commitment to sharing her special gift for overcoming day-to-day struggles, defusing tension, relaxing, laughing and moving with grace and ease by aligning mind, body and spirit. She now shares this gift with you!.

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