How to Gain a Strong Willpower

How to gain a strong willpower
Written by Laura Buckler

Working on your willpower will change the way you think and act.

Determination and focus are two important traits any person should possess.

However, there are moments when we don’t feel like doing anything at all, and that is perfectly normal. We should take that time to rest and relax. But in the same time, there are moments when even though we don’t feel like doing something, we have to. These are the moments when we must work on our willpower, and increase our drive forces towards fulfilling the tasks or goals we’ve set.

Everybody defines success differently. While for some, success might be thriving financially and holding high-ranked job positions, for others, success is defined as having an interconnected family life and a loving partner. The first step that we should take when working on our willpower is defining success for ourselves. The rest will follow. So, what does success mean for you?

Here is a list of steps you should take in order to improve your willpower. Take a look, and don’t hesitate to leave us feedback if you find it necessary!

Take Time for Yourself

Learning how to develop willpower is not an easy process, as it takes time and commitment to think about the process and act upon improving it. However, working smart is always better than working hard.

  • Work for 50 minutes, take 10 minute breaks
  • Don’t overwhelm yourself with endless tasks and assignments
  • Prioritize tasks and leave time for relaxing
  • Reward yourself with something that you like after completing a challenging task

Note: If you feel like traveling or socializing, go for it, and finish your work later — constantly thinking about “what you could’ve done” instead of thinking about what you are doing is a complete waste of time.

Set Goals

After understanding that life is not always about work, and that you are free to take as much time for yourself as needed, it’s time to set goals, and thus, work smart. Ask yourself:

  • What lifetime goals do I have? Is there something specific in my career, attitude, or family life that I’d like to change?
  • Am I unsatisfied with my free time? Is one of the goals related to finding more time for myself?
  • Are my work-related goals feasible? Are they measurable?
  • Are my prioritized tasks for the day attainable? Did I leave enough space for myself in the schedule?
  • Are my goals trackable and relevant? Are they specific?

Keep a balance in setting long term goals. Try to set goals that are achievable. Setting goals that are too high will be disappointing, while setting low goals will be of no use.


Imagination is a very powerful tool. Use it wisely, and you’ll reach your dreams and lifetime goals quickly. It’s important to imagine our objectives, and believe in them with all our heart.

For instance, image that you are getting a raise (if, say, one of the things you’re unsatisfied with is your financial situation). Imagine all the specific details — the time of the day, circumstances, people, how the contract looks like. Imagine everything, and in the meantime, work smart towards achieving your goal. In just a few weeks, you will see it coming.

Keep a Journal

It’s important to write about our feelings and emotions. Learning how to gain willpower and strengthen our motivation is a long process that will have a powerful impact on ourselves. Thus, we must learn not to ignore our emotions, and let them out.

  • Buy a notebook, or use an online platform
  • Start writing about your feelings
  • Keep doing that for some days
  • Express everything that you feel: any frustration or anxiety that you have
  • Reread everything at the end of the week, and track your progress — do you feel better now?

It’s crucial to let emotions out and deal with interior conflictual states. Failing to do so might result in unwanted behaviors and wrong perceptions on life.

Develop Good Habits

Leave bad habits at home when working on your willpower instinct! When we are stressed, we tend to fall into routines — these might sometimes be harmful, but they can also be thrilling and helping in many ways. It all depends on the way we start new habits.

Developing good habits is important for many reasons:

  • Good habits eliminate wasted time
  • They help us set strong goals and stick to them
  • They are the foundation of our motivation
  • They teach us how to plan our lives accordingly

Note: Develop habits that will help you in all domains in your life. Pick the ones that’ll benefit you in most ways. For example, exercising or eating healthy are two useful habits to develop.

Don’t Multitask

It’s important to take things step by step! Multitasking can be damaging in many ways. Focusing on many tasks at once means focusing on none at all. If you want to succeed on developing your willpower, try to avoid multitasking. Instead:

  • Prioritize tasks
  • Work on the most important ones first
  • Take regular breaks
  • If you finished and still have time, start working on the smaller tasks

Keep a certain order in your life. Don’t try to do everything at once — you won’t be able to do anything well at all.

Don’t Be Afraid to Shine

When you focus on how to get willpower, you focus on how to improve your life. Thus, the quick changes in your life should not frighten you. Most of them are going to be beneficial for your long-time well-being. Therefore, don’t be afraid to shine and tell people how you feel. Even if you are modest, it’s vital to share your feelings and positivity with your friends and acquaintances. When they ask, “how are you doing today?” don’t give out the usual answer. Share how you truly feel.

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Leave Space for the Unexpected

Last but not least, leave enough room for spontaneous decisions and actions. Working on your willpower will change the way you think and act. Therefore, you might feel to do things differently. Your approaches on life itself might change. You will become a better, complex person. Allow yourself to take spontaneous decisions if you feel like it. Leaving no room for the unexpected is boring.

Wrapping Up

Develop your willpower by taking time for yourself, setting smart goals, imagining that you will succeed, keeping a journal and expressing how you feel, leaving space for the unexpected, and developing good habits.

Identity Magazine is all about guiding women to discover their powers  of Self-Acceptance,  Appreciation, and Personal  Achievement.  We ask that every contributor and expert answer    the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. Their answers can be random and in the moment or they can be aligned with the  current article they have written.  In that way, and as a team, we hope to  encourage  and motivate  each other, thus inspiringyou to Get All A’s.

1. What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally?  Additionally, what are you  still working on accepting? Now, we’re not talking about resignation, rather stepping into, embraced, and owned.

I have accepted that not everything in life can, or should be controlled. I now understand that working hard and caring for my loved ones are the results of hard work and determination to succeed. I let things go, and try to concentrate on improving myself every day.

I am still working on accepting that my family is not the core of everything, and that I need time for myself and my own thoughts from time to time.

2. What have you learned to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally?  On the other hand  OR in contrast,  are there elements of who you are that you’re still working on  appreciating?

I have learned to appreciate both mental and physical health. It’s important to feel healthy in order to perform daily activities. Without being healthy, how could I ever provide for my family, and be an important figure in my children’s’ lives?

I am still working on appreciating the true nature of ourselves — who we are, where we came from, where life started — where things originated from basically.

3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? Tell us  not only  what makes YOU most proud  but also  share the  goals and dreams that you still have.

One of my best life achievements are my kids. They are so loving and caring, and I am so grateful for them. I am very proud of the way I raised them, and how well-behaved and spiritual they are. They inspire me every day.

I still wish to personally develop spiritually and mentally even more. I believe that as a mother, it’s important to bring this life lessons even further, and talk even more about self-discovery with my loved ones.

4.  Of course, we  all have imperfections,  or  so we think.  In truth,  we are all perfectly imperfect. What are your not-so-perfect ways?  Likewise,  what imperfections and quirks create who you are–your Identity?

One of my biggest imperfections is that I try (or tried) to control things too much. I did not go with the flow, and that was very inconvenient for my mental health and overall well-being.

Now, I find it important to understand that some things are better left uncontrolled. Some things must happen spontaneously and unplanned. That’s the natural way! Another trait that I’d like to work on is my patience. I must be more patient with the people around me.

5. “I Love My…” is an outlet for you to  appreciate and express  all the positive traits that make you…well…YOU!  In fact, sharing  what you love about yourself will make you smile, feel empowered, and uplift your spirit and soul. (We assure you!)  Therefore,  Identity challenges you to complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

I love myself, my children, my partner, and my family. I love my life, and I want to work on   constantly improving it.


Photo by  Tyler Nix  on  Unsplash

About the author

Laura Buckler

Laura Buckler is a contributor at Essays.ScholarAdvisor and freelance writer. She has a passion for helping people recognize and realize their potential. In her writings she shows that seeing life as simple, great things can be achieved. Follow Laura on Twitter.

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