It is estimated that currently nearly 50% of marriages and civil partnerships end in separation. This can be fairly straightforward if it is just the couple involved, but where they have had children, the whole thing can get much nastier as they fight for custody.
Here is a short guide on what steps you need to take with regards to co-parenting your children after a divorce.
Speak with the Experts
The first thing any parent should do is speak with the experts in this situation. A family law solicitor will help you to understand your rights with regard to the children and the time they will be able to spend with you.
Children are usually the biggest losers when their parents part, and it is vital that you receive honest and practical advice, especially if the matter will have to go to court.
Facing a Judge
Most family courts are kept as informal as possible to try and make it a less traumatic experience for the children, but it can still be a rather daunting prospect for them that they may have to face a judge.
If parents could only agree on these matters between themselves and collaborate to keep things as simple as possible for their children, there would be less emotional turmoil suffered by their kids.
Children often blame themselves for their parents breaking up, but if they can see that their parents are still amicable with one another even though they have parted, it can help them to cope with the situation much better.
Not So Easy
That of course, would be the ideal situation where breakups happen, and children are involved. However, we do not live in an ideal world and there are more cases that have to go before a family judge than those that do not. The judge will listen to all sides and take into account such things as abuse, addictions or mental health problems.
They will also listen to what the children want, but often the kids are too young for their opinion to matter.
Could Mediation be the Answer?
It is possible for a family law solicitor to represent you through mediation, and this can be less traumatic for everyone involved. Basically, the idea is that all parties sit around a table together and discuss what they all want.
Hopefully, an agreement can be reached at this time, and this can prevent the need for the matter to go before a family court.
A neutral third party usually attends a mediation meeting to oversee the process and hopefully help an agreement to be reached.
Moving Forward
The courts and parents are all trying to do what is best for the children, and it is essential that any agreement or court order is adhered to. Failure to do so can result in having to go back to court and could mean that a parent loses all their parental rights or is only allowed to have supervised visits.
The health and well-being of the children should always be the top priority, but sometimes that doesn’t t happen. The right professional will help you on your co-parenting success.
Identity Magazine is all about guiding women to discover their powers of Self-Acceptance, Appreciation, and Personal Achievement.
We ask that every contributor and expert answer the Identity questions in keeping with our theme. Their answers can be random and in the moment or they can be aligned with the current article they have written.
In that way, and as a team, we hope to encourage and motivate each other, thus inspiring you to “Get All A’s”.
1. What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? What are you still working on accepting?
I’ve accepted that I am where I am and that’s a good thing.
2. What have you learned to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? What are you still working on to appreciate?
I have found that when I appreciate everything I’m in a good space. I need to be more mindful of my tolerance of others.
3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? Tell us what makes YOU most proud? Share the goals and dreams that you still have?
I’m proud of living my dream of an alternative lifestyle on a smallholding surrounded by animals. My dream is to make enough time to write and paint more.
Photo by Chema Photo on Unsplash
