When was the last time you reflected on what an awesome job—or honestly how badass you are? I bet you spend more time feeling guilty and believing you’re a bad mom relatively often, right?
I found several statistics on how we Moms allow guilt to creep into our lives. Working Mother Research Institute surveyed over 3,700 women and issued a report called, “What Moms Choose”.*
-51 percent of working mothers feel guilty about not spending enough time with their children:
We need to get over this already and begin focusing on the time that we do get to spend with our children. Create the goal to make the time you do have the best time and the most fun–in other words, be present. I feel that I’m always hearing, “I want and I need more time” and it’s not only with children. This can center on many other tasks or circumstances in life. Try to make a priority list every day of what you want most to accomplish. Do your best throughout the day and later, don’t beat yourself up over it.
Seriously, almost all of us work and NONE of us can compare our family situations with the next person’s. You may have more spare time in the summer if you are a teacher, or maybe you’re a coach and not available during a particular season, but have more time during the other months. Or maybe your work is 4 days on and 4 days off.
Every day I aim for these:
Make sure my kids laugh hysterically, even if it’s just by tickling them.
Be sure to feed myself and my family something super healthy.
Be sure to drink water and ensure that my kids do too.
Indulge myself in something I enjoy.
Kiss my husband and children so much that I’m like the annoying mom from The Goldbergs.
Make sure I say “I love you” multiple times a day.
It’s that simple. Those are the most important elements in life, right? Not money, not bills, not material things-but rather laughter, love, affection, respect, and trying one’s best.
-55 percent of working mothers feel guilty about the untidiness of their house
Okay, I can totally relate to this because I do have a slight case of OCD. However, I’ve really come a long way over that during the past two years raising twins. What I do know is: I strive to clean 1 room a day and I don’t berate myself if I don’t necessarily accomplish that. For the most part, thinking this way and implementing this 1 room a day approach has had a tremendous impact on my family and stress levels because I”m not obsessed and trying to clean the entire house every day.
-49 percent of working mothers and 47 percent of stay-at-home-mothers agreed with the statement, “I am my worst critic”
STOP! Switch the mindset to “I am a badass mom and my family is lucky to have me.” Stop acknowledging that “I am my worst critic. ” There is no need to judge ourselves because there are plenty of other people doing that for us.
So, we need to step into our confidence, own our badass mom rolls, and continue to do our best and leave the judging to the rest (without letting that affect us either since this is also in our control).
I’ve gathered some quotes/statements from other Badass Moms and I hope they inspire you to recognize how badass you are!
“I’m a badass Mom because I will do anything in my power to keep my children safe and happy. And if I have to hurt someone doing that, so be it.” —Evelyn Rosas“I’m a badass Mom because I’m teaching my kids that failure only happens when you’re too afraid to try. And that they’re dreams deserve a chance and that the only opinion that matters is their own opinion of themselves. I’m teaching them that every step towards faith and away from fear is a step in the right direction. I’m teaching them that the only way to truly love others is to love yourself first. I’m teaching them how being in love with yourself and content with who you are is the most freeing feeling in the world. I’m creating an army of people who won’t wait for permission to be amazing—who will love openly and readily and never fear what’s next because they know they are enough and the Universe and their Mom will always have their back. That’s why I’m a badass Mom.” —Bridget Irvy
“I’m a badass Mom because I’ve taught my kids how to be independent, especially when it comes to their own incomes. My son ran his own chewing gum business for years and my daughter has her own YouTube channel. I love that! They enjoy helping me create content for my courses, they listen when I practice my talks and my daughter is even the voice of my podcast introduction. I’m so grateful that my son sees me speak from the stage about women and money, and our right to create our own destinies. I’m raising my kids who believe the sky’s the limit and who know that women are an important part of the business world.” —Sarah Walton
“I’m a badass Mom because I taught my kids to be fearless by re-inventing myself and starting a whole new career! I’m a badass Mom because I chose what was best for them. I raised them to be strong and independent—even when that independence might (and did) lead them far away.” —Stephanie Dalfonzo
“I’m a badass Mom because I took a leap to start my own business. I’m not always home for dinner or bedtime. I plan events so I’m helping people celebrate. But my kids are clean, fed, loved, and we celebrate each success we have in a special way! I am showing “my body” a woman can be her own boss and have a happy family! Let’s not forget the glass of wine accompanying me on my journey–LOL.” —Anita Belle
“When my first son was born, I tried to do everything ‘right’ and I was miserable. I loved my son more than anything, but I missed ‘me.’ I missed dressing up and wearing heels and going out with girlfriends. When my second son was born, I made the decision that I couldn’t lose myself in motherhood. I need to work, feel productive, and enjoy a social life outside of my home, in order to fully enjoy being a Mom. It’s not easy or without the guilt, but everyone is happier for it.” —Vanessa Coppe
“Badass Moms love unconditionally with all their hearts. Through happiness, fears, anger, and tears; they do whatever is best for their children no matter what anyone else thinks. I’m a badass Mom because of this and I know you are too.” —Jodi Ciampa
“I am a badass Mom because I am showing my three sons how to live your life with passion and purpose. Sure, the house gets messy and dinner is not always homemade, but they have a Mom who is LIT UP doing what she loves. That to me is the most inspirational lesson.” —Mallika Malhotra
End the guilt. You’re not a bad mom. You’re badass mom, along with me!
Here are a few reasons why I’m a Badass Mom and I’m just blurting stuff out and being as authentic as I can–I’m owning me…
Party: I’m always up for a party. As long as I have a babysitter, I’m all in. I have NO shame or guilt when leaving my kids to go have fun with friends for a night. Being able to get out and dance, drink, laugh, etc. revitalizes my soul.
Dance party with my kids: I party with my kids on a weekly basis by dancing to videos and throughout the house while jumping on the couches and beds.
I know how to balance my children’s diet while spoiling them with sweets. Sometimes they get pancakes for dinner and sometimes they get cookies for breakfast.
I still wear lingerie and still have fun with my husband, It’s not all about the kids ALL the time.
I give 100% every day and my goals for each day are to laugh, eat healthier, indulge, give lots of hugs and kisses to my twins and my husband.
I practice being present and mindful–consciously living and parenting the best I can.
I run my own business while being a wife, raising twins, and taking care of our home.
I have a great sense of humor–a sometimes inappropriate kind of humor to many people, except my best friend and my brother-in-law.
I’m not afraid, nor feel guilty, when I have to travel for work or have plans that don’t involve my husband or kids. It’s important for us to have our own space, as well as our quality time together.
I love vodka.
I love sex and never make excuses not to have it because of the kids. I’m a better, more relaxed mom for it. (Sorry Mom) heeehee
I love to love and show that love.
I’m teaching my kids healthy eating, fitness, playing, humor, manners, respect and love.
I’m not a bad mom, I’m a badass mom.
Identity Magazine is all about guiding women to discover their powers of Self-Acceptance, Appreciation, and Personal Achievement.
We ask that every contributor and expert answer the Identity questions in keeping with our theme. Their answers can be random and in the moment or they can be aligned with the current article they have written. In that way, and as a team, we hope to encourage and motivate each other, thus inspiring you to Get All A’s.
1. What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? Additionally, what are you still working on accepting? Now, we’re not talking about resignation, rather stepping into, embraced, and owned.
I’ve accepted and embraced so much over the years. This Mother’s Day I’m celebrating the fact that I’ sometimes survive and thrive as a Mother—especially through COVID.
2. Appreciation is everything. What have you learned to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? On the other hand OR in contrast, are there elements of who you are that you’re still working on appreciating?
I appreciate all the front line workers during this time in our lives. I appreciate the health and safety my family has at this time. I appreciate being a mother and some of the homeschool because it’s really cool to watch your children learn.
3. Share with us one of your most rewarding achievements in life? Tell us not only what makes YOU most proud but also share the goals and dreams that you still have.
I’m extremely proud of how my family and I have been managing the COVID life and the team my husband and I have had over the last 6 weeks.
*2011 What Moms Choose Report: http://www.wmmsurveys.com/whatMomschoose.html (over 3700 participants).