I’m shooting straight with all of ya. My pain tolerance was tested last night and I failed. I haven’t cursed and cried like that in years. Not even with labor because of the epidural.
I pretty much felt like I was in labor again last night for 5 hours until they finally gave me morphine.
For you mamas that delivered with no drugs! Omg, you are superheroes.
I feel like I should have delivered two more babies between my two ER trips 
this week.
I was showing signs of internal spasms and blood clots so I made the decision earlier to go to ER. So much constant pain they did a cat scan and found a mass (blood clot) that was the size of an avocado pit.
Then my hemoglobin was too low and they found a blood leak…something like a vascular burst on my left side of the pelvic. (You nurses out there may know).
So today they went thru an artery in my groin to gel foam the leak. And then I couldn’t move from this position for 6 hours if you know me, you know this is a challenge. My 6 hour ends at 6:30 and I’m here typing over my forehead 
I told Rob I accepted this complication but don’t understand why and what I’m gaining from it.
Not there yet 
and that’s ok. I may have an ah-ha or I just may have to deal with it and never have a reason why this has happened (for me) …
I know I’ll heal and I’m hanging onto that. So grateful for all the check-ins and love. Shout out to my neighbors and the twins’ sitter for covering and my sister who drove from NJ to a sleepover.
I’m taking advantage of staying in the hospital for night #2 tonight with Jello
