Here’s How to Take Control of the Things That Are Holding You Back

Here’s How to Take Control of the Things That Are Holding You Back
Identity Magazine for Mompreneurs
Written by TeamIdentity

ime around. Rather, tell her how you went back and finished despite the odds. It doesn’t matter if it took you two tries and 10 years.

It’s not your fault. If that is what is important to you, be sure to have it carved on your tombstone. Avoiding blame never helped anyone overcome a bad situation.

When you are being chased by a bear, the universe does not care that the bear’s hunger and ire are not your faults.

Even if it is your fault, that doesn’t mean there is nothing you can do about it. There is no nobility in surrendering to the bad thing just because you brought it on yourself. 

The interesting thing about the nature versus nurture debate is that it doesn’t matter. Neither your nature nor your nurture is your fault. You don’t control either. They are things that happen to you. It might be true that the universe dealt you a bad hand. But the gambler taught us that every hand is a winner and every hand is a loser.

The outcome of the game is not entirely determined by the cards we are dealt. Don’t settle for those excuses you have used for not getting better. Even good excuses don’t have to hold you back. Here are a few situations of which you can take control regardless of how you got there:

Your Health

You already know that your metabolism is a crucial part of your overall health. You also know that your metabolism is directly tied to many things that are not your fault. What you might want to know is how to restart your metabolism. It might come as a surprise to you that kickstarting your metabolism is within your grasp. 

Few of us have maxed out what we can do with regard to our metabolic health. You will greatly limit yourself by putting too much emphasis on willpower. What we think of as willpower is largely tied to nature and nurture. But you can reduce the amount of unhealthy foods you bring into your house while increasing the amount of healthy food. When you are driven by hunger, you increase the chances of reaching for something healthy if that is all you have immediately available. 

How much intentional movement makes up your average day? There are ways to build in more intentional movement without needing a membership to a gym. None of this means you will be able to drop 3 sizes and 30 pounds in a month of effort. But you can give your metabolism a boost. And that will fuel your efforts to get healthier in other areas of your life.

Substance Abuse Recovery

You don’t have to be a victim of substance abuse just because that is a part of your family history and biological disposition. This is not to say that you can magically free yourself from those influences. It is to say that you have some options you can exercise that can greatly improve your situation. 

You don’t have to be rich and famous to overcome addiction. Just recognize that overcoming it does not mean you will not struggle with it. Sometimes, it just means going from non-functional to functional. Being a functional alcoholic is far from ideal. But it beats being incapable of holding a job or taking care of your family.

Success is often measured in baby steps where addiction is concerned. But those small steps can mean the difference between life and death.


No one cares why you didn’t finish high school or college. If you want to impress the person interviewing you for a job, don’t talk about why you failed to finish the first time around. Rather, tell her how you went back and finished despite the odds. It doesn’t matter if it took you two tries and 10 years.

What matters is that you are the kind of person who is not satisfied with good excuses for failure. You are the kind of person who, at the very least, expends every effort to succeed. Most coaches are not concerned about whether you won the day on a given Sunday, but whether you gave it your all. 

When it comes to your health, your addictions, or your education, don’t be satisfied with any effort that falls short of your best. The rest will take care of itself.

Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

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Identity Magazine for Mompreneurs


Our mission is to empower women to "Get All A’s in their Game of Life" by discovering their powers and transforming through Self-Acceptance, Appreciation, and Personal Achievement—through all of our content and collaborations.

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