Divorce & A Patch of Dirt

Divorce & A Patch of Dirt
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Written by Dori Bell

On the surface we are going about our daily lives, with not much outwardly to show for the battle happening inside us.

I’m reclaiming part of my backyard that is currently overgrown with 5 high thorn-covered weeds and English ivy. I strongly suspect that this particular patch of ground is the site of something sinister and murder-y based on what grows there.

The thing about weeding is that once you’ve removed the offending plant life, you’re back at the start in a sense. Weeding is the hard work you do to get back to the beginning, and it’s pretty unimpressively from the outside.

Not many people will peer out my kitchen window and say, Wow, Dori, I admire how weed-free that patch of dirt is. In fact, they may wonder why I can’t find the time to grow something, anything, instead of having a patch of dirt in my backyard.

On the surface, a bare patch of ground is an absence. But I know it took me 2 hours and 3 huge lawn debris bags to achieve that bare patch. I patiently clipped back branches covered in 1 thorn, battled the mosquitos that were living in the ivy, sweated through my t-shirt, and pulled muscles digging up deep roots so that the evil couldn’t come back easily.

[Tweet “We all have overgrown thorn bushes we battle internally, weeds with deep roots & evil intent.”]

Some things matter only because they’re gone. We all have overgrown thorn bushes we battle internally, weeds with deep roots and evil intent.

The process of ridding ourselves of the thoughts, emotions, and habits that make up these unhealthy patterns in our lives is private work.

It’s hard, and tedious, and unseen. On the surface, we are going about our daily lives, with not much outwardly to show for the battle happening inside us. And once we get to a place of healing, how do we look from the outside? Probably the same.

But YOU know what happened, what you achieved, just like I know what that patch of dirt really means. We are back at the beginning, with our patches of dirt that are ready to grow whatever we CHOOSE to plant there. And that is sure to be beautiful.

The Art of Graceful Divorce

To keep the analogy going a little longer, the work we do in The Art of Graceful Divorce helps you identify the weeds, pull them out by the root, and prepare the resulting bare patch for fertile growth of whatever you want more of in your life.

If that sounds like something you’re interested in, or you know someone who may benefit, please visit the website www.artofgracefuldivorce.com  to learn more.

Deals4You :: The Art of Graceful Divorce: Strategies for Surviving and Thriving in Your New Life: Tools, shortcuts, tips, actual step-by-step instruction to develop an arsenal of ways to survive divorce and come out the other side of it proud of who you are and proud of what you’ve accomplished. Complimentary discovery call and $100 of  program  MENTION: IDENTITY DEALS4YOU

Identity Magazine is all about guiding women to discover their powers of Self-Acceptance, Appreciation, and Personal Achievement. 

We ask that every contributor and expert answer the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. Their answers can be random and in the moment or they can be aligned with the current article they have written. In that way, and as a team, we hope to  encourage and motivate each other, thus inspiring you to Get All A’s.

1. What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? Additionally, what are you still working on accepting? Now, we’re not talking about resignation, rather stepping into, embraced, and owned.

I own my strong connection to God and my intuition and the power that comes from both. I’m still working on the confidence to do what I know I can do, which may be a lifelong journey.

2. What have you learned to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? On the other hand OR in contrast, are there elements of who you are that you’re still working on appreciating?

I’ve learned to appreciate my tenacity and gentleness, which somehow exist at the same time within me. I’ve learned to appreciate how my body needs rest, and how to honor its cycles. I’ve learned to appreciate my tendency toward quiet. Turns out you don’t have to be talkative and the life of the party to be effective and/or appreciated! Who knew?!

3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? Tell us not only what makes YOU most proud but also share the goals and dreams that you still have.

The life I’ve created for my daughter and myself, post-divorce, is one of my most rewarding achievements. I continue to create for us in ways that more closely align with what I really want my life to be. Figuring that piece out, what do want for my life was the hardest and most crucial one.

Photo by  Kyle Ellefson  on  Unsplash

About the author

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Dori Bell

I’ll never forget meeting Betty, a kind aromatherapist who asked me to inhale deeply the geranium essential oil she held under my nose. The exquisite beauty of that fragrance really impacted me; it was a visceral feeling that hit me like my body was being infused with a million sparkles.

Until that day, I felt like I was living my entire life through a “fog machine.” You know, those vapor generators that are used for special events like weddings and 80s hair metal concerts. That “fog” was my protection, keeping me safe from feeling my longings.

Then Betty came along and introduced me to aromatherapy—a science-based therapy that helps you feel vibrant, energetic, and strong.

With busy lives taking care of families and working on careers, so many people feel like they have lost themselves. I sure felt that way. Aromatherapy actually provides a way to reawaken your old self, or—even better—gain a “new you,” as you’ve always known you could be.

A few things happened to me the day I met Betty. I felt my body, my place in the world, for the first time in ages. I also felt the first stirrings of my long-buried passion and creativity in my heart. An aromatherapist can help you too!

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