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Divorce & A Patch of Dirt

Divorce & A Patch of Dirt
Dori Eldridge
Written by Dori Eldridge

On the surface we are going about our daily lives, with not much outwardly to show for the battle happening inside us.

I’m reclaiming part of my backyard that is currently overgrown with 5’ high thorn-covered weeds and English ivy. I strongly suspect that this particular patch of ground is the site of something sinister and murder-y based on what grows there.

The thing about weeding is that once you’ve removed the offending plant life, you’re back at the start in a sense. Weeding is the hard work you do to get back to the beginning, and it’s pretty unimpressive from the outside.

Not many people will peer out my kitchen window and say, “Wow, Dori, I admire how weed-free that patch of dirt is.” In fact, they may wonder why I can’t find the time to grow something, anything, instead of having a patch of dirt in my backyard.

On the surface, a bare patch of ground is an absence. But I know it took me 2 hours and 3 huge lawn debris bags to achieve that bare patch. I patiently clipped back branches covered in 1” thorns, battled the mosquitos that were living in the ivy, sweated through my t-shirt, and pulled muscles digging up deep roots so that the evil couldn’t come back easily.

Some things matter only because they’re gone. We all have overgrown thorn bushes we battle internally, weeds with deep roots and evil intent. The process of ridding ourselves of the thoughts, emotions, and habits that make up these unhealthy patterns in our lives is private work.

It’s hard, and tedious, and unseen. On the surface we are going about our daily lives, with not much outwardly to show for the battle happening inside us. And once we get to a place of healing, how do we look from the outside? Probably the same.

But YOU know what happened, what you achieved, just like I know what that patch of dirt really means. We are back at the beginning, with our patches of dirt that are ready to grow whatever we CHOOSE to plant there. And that is sure to be beautiful.

The Art of Graceful Divorce

To keep the analogy going a little longer, the work we do in The Art of Graceful Divorce helps you identify the weeds, pull them out by the root, and prepare the resulting bare patch for fertile growth of whatever you want more of in your life.

If that sounds like something you’re interested in, or you know someone who may benefit, please visit the website www.artofgracefuldivorce.com to learn more.

Deals4You ::  The Art of Graceful Divorce: Strategies for Surviving and Thriving in Your New Life :: Tools, shortcuts, tips, actual step-by-step instruction to develop an arsenal of ways to survive divorce and come out the other side of it proud of who you are and proud of what you’ve accomplished. Complimentary discovery call and $100 off program MENTION: IDENTITY DEALS4YOU

Identity Magazine is all about guiding women to discover their powers of Self-AcceptanceAppreciation, and Personal Achievement. We ask that every contributor and expert answer  the Identity 5 questions in keeping with our theme. Their answers can be random and in the moment or they can be aligned with the current article they have writtenIn that way, and as a team, we hope to encourage and motivate each other, thus inspiringyou to Get All A’s.

1. What have you accepted within your life, physically and/or mentally? Additionally, what are you still working on accepting? Now, we’re not talking about resignation, rather stepping into, embraced, and owned.

I own my strong connection to God and my intuition, and the power that comes from both.  I’m still working on the confidence to do what I know I can do, which may be a lifelong journey.

2. What have you learned to appreciate about yourself and/or within your life, physically and mentally? On the other hand OR in contrastare there elements of who you are that you’re still working on appreciating?

I’ve learned to appreciate my tenacity and gentleness, which somehow exist at the same time within me. I’ve learned to appreciate how my body needs rest, and how to honor its cycles. I’ve learned to appreciate my tendency toward quiet. Turns out you don’t have to be talkative and “the life of the party” to be effective and/or appreciated! Who knew?!

3. What is one of your most rewarding achievements in life? Tell us not only what makes YOU most proud but also share the goals and dreams that you still have.

The life I’ve created for my daughter and myself, post-divorce, is one of my most rewarding achievements. I continue to create for us in ways that more closely align with what I really want my life to be. Figuring that piece out, the “what do I want for my life,” was the hardest and most crucial one. 

4. Of course, we all have imperfections, or so we think. In truth, we are all perfectly imperfect. What are your not-so-perfect ways? Likewise, what imperfections and quirks create who you are—your Identity?

I have the spectacular ability to do things the hardest possible way. If there’s a way to make something intense, to make it the Ultimate Learning Experience, I’ll find it.

5. “I Love My…” is an outlet for you to appreciate and express all the positive traits that make you…well…YOU! In fact, sharing what you love about yourself will make you smile, feel empowered, and uplift your spirit and soul. (We assure you!) Therefore, Identity challenges you to complete the phrase “I Love My…?”

I love my sense of humor and ability to see past the surface. I love my intuition, my spirit, and my moxie. I love my ability to connect deeply with people, and to understand often more than they can what they need.

 

 

Photo by Kyle Ellefson on Unsplash

About the author

Dori Eldridge

Dori Eldridge

Dori Eldridge is a divorced mother of a teenage girl. She offers all she learned on her journey from “anxious and overwhelmed” to “confident and capable” in the Art of Graceful Divorce, a program designed to help women move with grace through the divorce process, confident in themselves and their decisions, and proud of who they are.

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